Xenogen

Yah...so that was interesting reading that. But NO ONE has answered the HOW TO BREAK IT TO HER question.

Mike_McCready

< give this a shot

Xenogen

Oh shes gonna have to be semi buzzed for me to tell her...

supermegaglossy

ok, well i didn't go through all 7 pages of this shit, so this might've been said.. but why don't YOU break up with HER? duh.

there's nothing worse than pussies who can't do what they want done. don't be one.

Xenogen

Yeah If you read the whole thing...you would see that I DONT want to break up with her.

teg_to_bike

I haven't been doing so hot in this thread, but here is what I would suggest:

Sit down with her, no alcohol, no distractions, no one else around, and tell her the truth.
Tell her you do care about her and you want to start over.
And give her a key to your apartment... show her you're serious.

and good luck.

Xenogen

Yah...but giving her a key right after would be like an attempted cover up. So you're basically saying I have to give her the "we need to talk" talk.

teg_to_bike

yeah, you need the "we need to talk" talk...

what do you mean by attempted cover up?

Xenogen

Its like yeah....I cheated on you, but heres a key that will make it all go away.

teg_to_bike

hmm... I see what you mean...
It shows that you didnt want to give her a key before because of all the cheating.

I think if things do turn out ok, and if she asks again... you probably will have to give her the key... but this is the least oof your problems right now.

teg_to_bike

I think its time to change the avatar too.

Xenogen

Now you're just asking to much...

teg_to_bike

Is asking for all pics, phone numbers, addresses, AIM screennames, etc. of the girls too much?

Xenogen

You want my black book eh ? Im not getting married here, but I bet you would fly to NYC to fuck some of these bitches?

FastAcura

Print this out

http://channels.netscape.com/ns/men/...hear/womenhear

And read it to her.

And then tell her that numbers 6 and 7 are lies.

Xenogen

Thats pure Geniosty

mclarenf3387

Nope. Give up your old ways, and the women. I'll take care of them for you

teg_to_bike

Dont worry... I'll take good care of them for you

<------

Xenogen

I changed my avatar to a pick pf my g\f saying word to yo motha bitches

Xenogen

Looking good Teg...Looking good.

teg_to_bike

Good luck to ya! When are you gonna break the news?

Xenogen

Friday...because it avoids confrontation

mclarenf3387

Hopefully things go well. Its gonna be tough for awhile though. And I wouldn't be suprised if she may want to take "time off" to see what she wants. Its not easy to stay with someone after they cheat on you.

Xenogen

And thats the scenerio Ive been thinking about for two days.

TLover

OK, here's my regarding how:

1. Accept the fact that she's going to get angry -- this may seem obvious but here's what it does:
a. Let her get angry.
b. Don't try to convince her that she shouldn't be angry.
c. Let her understand that you know WHY she's angry. <--- Very important. How many of us have heard: "Well, if you don't know why I'm angry ... "
d. Don't make things worse by getting angry yourself.

2. Let her know you're telling her everything because you want to establish trust.

3. Tell her how you REALLY feel about her. <----- This is usually women's No. 1 complaint about men -- they don't about talk about their feelings.

4. Realize and accept that fact that she may not want to be with you anymore. In other words, if she wants to leave, let her. It doesn't mean that it's over, but you may have to make an effort to rebuild the relationship. This is where you have to make an effort to do so and show her that you're willing to make the effort.

Xenogen

^^ Well said. Another thing that comes to mind is that she might lose a couple of her friends in all of this. How do you suggest I handle that situation ? Or do I have to tell her about her friends too?

mclarenf3387

How so? You mean some of the friends = fuck buddies?

That seems a little risky if what I'm thinking is true.

But if it is, be honest. Hell, I'd kick my friend to the curb if he was doing my chick behind my back.

Xenogen

No...I had sex with two of her friends once. Not fuck buddies. So I was asking if I had to admit to that.

TLover

That might be a little too much honesty. I'd just leave it at "I've been with other women."

Xenogen

And No...Not a threesome both at different times..once.

Xenogen

Thank you...

mclarenf3387

Still pretty risky, but I'm with TLover, no need to name names.

edit: I'm not so sure though. I wouldn't mention names right know mearly for the fact that you're already dropping a huge bombshell on her, but I would be pist if my friends were doing my girlfriend. Probably best just to leave it alone for now though.

teg_to_bike

I wonder how different things would've been had you asked you gf about the threesome with her friend.

Xenogen

I did...she said she would only consider it, if later on if I had another one with a dude. Fuck that shit.

Chopsie

I'm not reading all this shit, cliffsnotes shnukums

mclarenf3387

Really condensed version:

Hes quitting manwhoring and telling his girlfriend whats been going on for the past year and a half on friday.

Xenogen

And all I wanted to know was whether or not she should get a key to my place.

Chopsie

Thanks Brett.

Xena, on biting the bullet. Give her a kiss for me.

Xenogen

Absolutely...Ill even print out what you look like and show it to her.

Chopsie

Better yet, cut out a hole where my tongue would be , and lick her for me
(time for my crazy pills)