jungy4

I have a female friend who is going to start bartending. She and I have talked about taking our relationship a little further.

What she told me today kinda made me wonder. Her boss would let her sell cleavage shots as much as she wants to make money. As someone who never dated a bartender before, I don't know how I could handle seeing her get home at the end of the night knowing what drunk guy customers did to her. Any thoughts? Am I being too anal about it?

leedogg

Discuss what you feel/dont feel comfortable with, with her. Agree upon boundaries and trust her to stick with it.

ikethegreat

If you're not comfortable with it then I wouldn't take the relationship any farther. If it bugs you now, it's not just going to go away and will likely cause stress and problems down the line. Quit while you're ahead, more fish in the sea, yada yada yada...

Whiskers

pics

justnspace

iTrader: (1)

When Did you become her boyfriend?

Joneill44

No

BeezleTL85

I would get another GF. Her manager is going to bone her

mrstak

iTrader: (1)

also realize that as a bartender, she is going to get hit on constantly, every night. if you're comfortable with that and trust her, then it's golden. but if not, start re-evaluating the relationship.

justnspace

iTrader: (1)

again, when did he become the boyfriend?

doopstr

If it was a normal bar I'd have no problem. That fact that she is going to sell tells me she is working at a strip joint. So no way. She is one step away from stripper, hooker.

Ken1997TL

We need to verify the sales cachet of said cleavage before giving any sort of advice.

Mr Marco

Been there done that. Bartenders are great for short term drug connections...Er, I mean, relationships.

jungy4

For those that gave me thoughtful responses, thank you.

No I will not post any pictures.

We are not officially together yet, so there won't be a emotional breakup (which is a good thing). I am just debating on whether I should make it official with her or not.

I told her how I felt and she told me to trust her so we will see how it goes after she starts working.

Rapture

Trust her with what? Not cheating on you with the guys that leave slobber all over her titties?

YeuEmMaiMai

sounds like your woman needs to find a different employer. Asking her to do that is not ethical.

justnspace

iTrader: (1)

its not even his woman....
she can do as she pleases.

until OP and girl are exclusive she can have any job she wants.

Whiskers

Pics?

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

If you're going to be jealous then don't date her. A girl who sells "cleavage shots" doesn't sound like wifey material, but it's not like guys are going to be banging her on the bar, she's just going to be selling drinks

1StGenCL

If you trust her, go for it and it doesn't even sound like you two have banged so def get that in. Working in a bar is all about making customers feel like they can have you and cleavage shots make money, just like the slutty looking shot girls. I worked in a bar and would flirt with every girl to get money but then go home to the gf, she knew what was going on and appreciated all the money while we were in college (when we broke up tho, I banged half the girls that came in).

I am assuming she is close to your age so she should be able to handle it now, unlike girls that are 21 or so.

Oh, most importantly, we need to see a shot between her tits to make sure someone in a bar would actually want her. If she has torpedo boobs, you have nothing to fear (well besides those babies hitting the floor).

Undying Dreams

iTrader: (3)

nope

My gf of 3 years pondering doing the same job, I said I couldn't and that idea dropped.

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

Your future gf

swoosh

iTrader: (5)

I have been in a relationship with a bartender and all I would suggest you to do is trust her....

when I was back in NY, dated this girl who was in school with me and bar-tended over the weekend (well Thursday/Friday/Saturday).....the good thing is, I made good friends with the bar owner and I was always chilling in the club and sipping on free drinks lol....

i think your situation is a little different because of the whole body shots thing....my ex-girlfriend had to wear "sexy" outfits (no not bikini's and stuff but just something "inviting" if you will)....

as mentioned in the 2nd post, do discuss what you are comfy with, and main thing is trust her....a ton of people tend to hit on the bartenders, and they have to respond back in a certain manner since the tips are the main money maker her.... (in NYC she used to make only $2.75/hr but the tips were hers to keep, the tips used to add upto over 700-800 bucks PER NIGHT)....

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

I worked in a bar for years, my gf's hated it, but I had fun. All I can say is, if you're not even in a relationship with this chick and you're having doubts and jealousy issues, then this will not end well.

swoosh

iTrader: (5)

^^^ I dont think jealously and possessiveness will keep any relationship healthy...

my ex (when I was in STL) used to get mad at me when I used to simply smile and politely ask the local Starbucks girl "so how is your day coming along" or "got big plans for the weekend"

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

I hear ya there bro.

Having worked in a bar for years, there was nothing worse than a bf coming to hang out when their girl was working, one dude was an undercover county cop, and would try to intimidate dudes who would converse with his girl, or even say hi to her, sure made things interesting...

swoosh

iTrader: (5)

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

1StGenCL

I can't imagine a bigger turn off for a girl then her guy coming to her work to babysit her. If anything, that would just make guys, especially her coworkers, try harder.

Don't do crap like the above mentioned cop OP, oh wait she doesn't know you are dating so I guess you can hang out at her bar.

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

When you're not hanging out in her bushes, you can go hang out at the bar and watch her, just don't let others know you're "involved"

Acura_Dude

rockstar143

iTrader: (6)

If you date a bartender, you'll either have to be really secure, or really rich. If that's her main source of income, she can't afford to be NOT flirty.

1Louder

I think the choice here is fairly straight forward, depending on a couple things. I'm assuming she's not approaching the job like she'll do anything for a buck. So she has some boundaries. Given that:

1) Do you trust her to work within those boundaries and be up front about what's going on?
2) Are you able to handle what goes on within those boundaries without making it an issue?

I say if you don't have both of those things, don't start a relationship. Being with a woman who financially benefits from flirting with men takes a lot of trust, and it's not for everyone. But the bottom line is you're going to have to be OK with how she makes money. It can work, but you both need to be on the same page.

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

Saw a hot bartender tonight and thought of this thread

:ibcoolstorybrah:

swoosh

iTrader: (5)

Attachment 110473

Majofo

No such thing

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

He didn't say too much... But from the sounds of it, he isn't getting any

rockstar143

iTrader: (6)

Most of those hot bartender chicks already have a boyfriend...so SOMEONE is secure enough to deal with it. Why not make it you?

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

Majofo

Because friendzone

rockstar143

iTrader: (6)

Do friends get to touch de bewbz?