KamikazeTL

Ok so I've been telling myself I will be going back to school year after year and its been like this for 4 1/2 years already. I am 24 years old and I was set on going back to school this coming fall season. I met this wonderful girl last summer and we became friends & then we became a couple and its our first year together already. Ever since I got with her I changed myself from a regular guy to a classy guy. She is into fashion and got me into shopping at expensive places and wearing expensive accessories (Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Burberry, etc). She even got me into eating out at fancy expensive dinners and I used to be the guy who didn't really care to eat at expensive places because I was more into spending my money on automotive stuff.

Now to talk about this wonderful gf I have, she is definitely doing better than me for sure. She's 20 years old and has good paying job and goes to school full time and soon to be into a University while I am just working full time and not getting anywhere with my job other than extra money which I spend most of it weekly and leave the rest to savings.

She always questions what I'm going to do with my life and I tell her I am going back into school but spending alot of money isn't cutting it because it makes me want to stay at my full time job because if I go back to school then I won't make as much as I make right now. Maybe this is the main reason why I am procrastinating. I am also trying my best to not shop at expensive places anymore and just buy cheaper clothes since I'm not rich at all.

To me it seems like I have no goal and I know if I stick to the guy I am then I'm pretty sure she will lose interest in me while she graduates and makes 3x the money I am making while I am still living at home with my parents. I can move up in my job but with no degree which is the hard part if I ever get fired/laid off etc.. There are alot of guys who like her and I am lucky to have her but I fear I will lose her later on when she gets exposed to the college university life since there are guys who are rich, have nice cars, an education while I just have a full time job and make decent money but it gets spent easy.


Any input guys?

mastertl

If she's 20, not in University (which means no degree), I'm really confused as to what she does for a living if she can afford LV, Gucci, Burberry and expensive dinners. Does she come from a rich family?

That said, she asks about what you're going to do with your life because she wants you to be better than you are now. We all like people who inspire us to be better...I'm talking about things like ambition and education, qualities that make us want to be better for our partners (I don't believe expensive taste = better taste).

Sad to say this, but if you're in a relationship pre-college, chances are that it won't last. It's not just about guys with money and nice cars, its about growing up, changes in taste and new experiences. Girls like to be challenged just as much as guys do, you need to be able to match her financially and intellectually because rarely do two people who have widely varying lives, continue in successful relationships.

TLDR: You need to be confident in yourself and be confident in the changes you are willing to make for this girl because no one else will wait, least of all her.

Mr. Maker

iTrader: (4)

Pics.

doopstr

It sounds to me like you won't be able to support your current lifestyle long term. If that's important to her then you do have a legitimate concern.

PrissyJayne

These are my observations based on the information you shared - just my opinions, so I hope you don't take offense:
1) You need some motivation. Motivation breeds confidence, breeds success (in life, relationships, finances, etc.).
2) If you've been in this relationship for nearly a year and are not confident in it's future by now, chances are the relationship is not going to last.
3) You can't chase people. It seems to me that you're chasing her lifestyle. If you're comfortable going to Applebee's instead of Ruths Chris Steakhouse, then she should be ok with that as well.
4) You don't have to give up your full-time job to go to college. Take evening classes or go to school online. There are great, accredited schools that allow you significant flexibility. It's hard as hell (speaking from experience) but it can be done.

Street Spirit

If you go to school or choose not to - the decision needs to come from you and be ABOUT you. If you go to school for her, you probably won't have the same ambition, might come to resent her and school, and won't get the same learning experience out of it because you're not wanting to learn - you're wanting to appease her. If you go, do it to make yourself proud, happier, and content with where you're heading in life.

If she isn't interested in you without a college degree, without the drive she's looking for, and without the ability to maintain her expensive tastes (and also wanting you to share expensive things), then she'll move on. But wouldn't that be a better ending than you staying together long term, running down your finances and not being the person she wants in a mate? It won't work in the end that way either. You've gotta follow your own goals and become the type of person you want to become too -- not just base it on who a girl thinks you should be.

sixsixfour

sorry man, it doesnt look good for you. I have had friends in college who were in the exact same boat. they did not stay together. that's too big of a gap and she will get bored.

sasha

I agree with Street Spirit. You need to seek within yourself what you really want in life and then make plans to fulfill your goals.

Although people with a college degree typically earn more than those without one, you can still be successful in a chosen field even with no college background if you have the talent/skill, passion, and dedication to work hard. One of my husband's best friends, for example, never went to college but honed his artistic skills on his own through constant practice and eventually became a really good web graphics designer and animator. He owns a house and supports his wife and 2 kids.

Now if you prefer to take the traditional route and go to college, you need to find ways that would allow you to study. How about studying part time and earning a few credits each semester? I know some people work during the day and go to school at night. It's hard but it's not impossible. On other hand, if you want to study full time, have you tried getting a student loan? Try checking websites of various schools for their financial aid programs. You'll also find that a lot of universities offer student employment.

In the end, you really need to find out first what kind of career you want. Good luck!

whudini3000

iTrader: (1)

You don't need a degree to make dinero. Work Sales! I've met many guys who rake in the cash working sales. Anyways, you are better off dumping her. As some of the guys & gals stated, a woman shouldn't be your motivation to do better. Because in the end, you are going to be left with regret, debt and empty promises. My pops always told me,"A man with no plans, is a man with empty hands."

1Louder

First thing to address is the fact that you feel the need to "put on airs" around her or she'll loose interest. I think you need to ask yourself the question, whether she likes you, or the classed-up version of you that she's created. Because if she doesn't like you, then your relationship will only last as long as you can afford to be the version of you she wants you to be.

Because she has expensive tastes does not make her a good catch. It makes her a high-maintenance catch. And forgive me if this is reaching, but it sounds to me like she's trying to change you into a different version of you that better suits her taste and lifestyle. That never, ever works in the long run. She wants you to be someone you are not, and you are sacrificing your future plans to become that person. You are on a treadmill that will leave you broke and years behind where you want to be.

Encouraging someone to improve themselves out of love is a wonderful, healthy thing. Because it is done out of genuine concern for the other person. Changing someone into what they want them to be is not, because it's done for selfish reasons. There's miles of difference between the two.

I'd advise you to clear your head about everything that's going on and come up with a plan for your life and some practical steps to getting there. Draft the plan that YOU want, not the plan you think she wants, or a plan that makes her happy because you'll make more money. Who do you want to be in five years. Start there.

Then, go talk to her. Be honest. Explain you can't sustain this lifestyle and get where you need to go. Explain what you want to do. Ask her what she thinks. Maybe thrown in there that you'd like to do these things, but still want to be in a relationship with her. You want to go on this journey with her.

If her first reaction is all about how your plan is going to impact her, or inconvenience her, or anything that ends in "her", that's a red flag. But more important, I think you'll find out who she really likes - you, or the nicely tailored version of you that she's created.

But if she's supportive, if she wants that for you and wants to be a part of it, if she's willing to make in important to her because it's important to you - then you have a winner.

But look, if this doesn't go in your favor, it may stink for a while, but it's a blessing in disguise.

Mr Marco

Take it from me, you are too young to be hung up on one person. If she's right for you she will not leave you. There is nothing you can do to stop her from leaving you for another guy. If it happens then she wasn't the right girl.

More importantly you are still young, and the expense of sounding like a pig, you should be dating as many girls as you can. Life is short. Before you know it you'll be 44 and stuck with the same pussy for the last 9 years.

I was like you once, thought I had the greatest girl in the world and didn't want to loose her...then she dumped me and I started playing the field and realized what I was missing. I had another 15 "girlfriends" and 1 x-wife before I met the "right one."

If you don't have those experiences with different girls/women early in life, you'll regret it later and wish you had.

Getting dumped by your girlfriend might be the best thing that ever happened to you.

CarbonGray Earl

She's 20? I hate to say this, but I think you may be the guy that has a car and drove earlier than everyone else in high school. You are interesting because her current crop of suitors are probably all in college and living the college lifestyle. You have a steady income and that looks like a gold mine to a college student (well, I don't really know, but that's what I'm surmising from your post, so please don't take offense).

You have to find out why she's really with you. Not in an accusatory way, but subtle, of course. You also have to realize that at 20 years old, she's probably not thinking that far into the future...I could barely plan past the next quarter back in those days. But at 24, you can be more realistic and more goal oriented relationships-wise than her. So definitely start the conversation. If she clams up, then that's a sign. But since you are thinking long term, you might as well know now before you really get too deep.

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

Already sounds like she has been molding you into something that you are not. Honestly, I don't think that this relationship will last forever. It sounds like you 2 are very different in perception and lifestyle. For a relationship to work, your girl should want to be with you if you shop at pay-less shoe store, or gucci. I've been in several long term relationships in my 20's, and can tell you that if you don't accept each other for who you are, then you are doomed to fail. Granted, there is nothing wrong with her trying to motivate you to continue school, or asking you what you want out of life. However, if that's all she's focused on, and you think this will cause issues between you 2, then it will. Love is worth fighting for, but you have to be sure that she is worth fighting for, and that she wants to really be with YOU.

phee

iTrader: (5)

sounds like you're a sucker. she's got you spending money that you dont have on her and questioning what you're doing with your life.. remind me agian why you want to stay with her....

phee

iTrader: (5)

i say you get back to doing what is important to YOU and go back to school. You shouldnt be spending most of your money in a week, thats poor money management.

i work full time and go to school part time and it's a bitch, but my girlfriend motivates me to stay in school and understands that i cannot spoil her (nor does she ask me to)

Dr. Colorado

We call girls like yours "high-post". She is fleecing you dry while you try to maintain a lifestyle you can ill afford. F-ck the Prada and Dolce, you wear that sh-t when you are my age in your 30s. You should be in school advancing your education and getting your degree, that investment is priceless comparing to blowing your wad on designer clothes that will be played out in 6 months. She's 20 y/o, she should be happy you're rocking Aeropostale and A and F, not Burberry. Trust me, when you achieve success and coin a lot of women will be into you because of your money, not who you are or what you're about. You have to pick and choose the right woman who will stick by your side for the correct reasons.

amisconception

Fuck that prissy attitude out of her bro. Pin her down when she starts asking you what you're going to do with your future and tell her you're going to spread her ass cheeks apart and nail her like a jack hammer.

In all seriousness, do not take a 20 year old girl seriously. You're the man, you don't need to answer her dumb ass questions, and you definitely don't need a degree. We're in a screwed up economy and almost all of us are liable to lose our jobs at any moment. And I have news for your silly girlfriend, the unemployment rate for new grads is significantly worse than it is for experienced and competent people.

Look for a way out of this relationship and have fun with her on your way to the next girl, you're not ready for a healthy long-lasting relationship, you need to find yourself first.

Majofo

Why are you changing and prioritizing your life or worrying about what is going to happen in the future according to your GF? Are you insecure or is she really that shallow?

You're a peacock buddy, she's gotta let you fly... if you get my drift. If she's not with it.. on to the next one. The right person will support your aspirations and won't be with you because of a lifestyle but for who you are.

justnspace

iTrader: (1)

just use her for sex.

Majofo

Sounds like OP's GF is using him for Fendi.. that means he gets very little play. Poor guy.

justnspace

iTrader: (1)

^sadly, you're right.

Majofo

Also OP, I support education at any age.. you're never too old. You're going to age regardless. Do you want to be 32 w/ no degree or 32 with a PhD / MD? Sure there are guys your age with a Bachelor's or Master's degree, but that shouldn't discourage you from the path. There will always be guys younger who have done what you haven't but on the flip side, there will always be guys older who are doing what you want to as well. I had several classmates in their 30's - 40's and a couple in their 50's.

Dr. Colorado

^QFT. Economy is the sh-t now, you think you're going to cut it in sales enough to be dropping $5K on new LV handbags every 3 months? Go back and get your degree and stop putting pussy on a pedestal. It makes you look weak and your GF will walk all over your ass. Confidence is king and the most powerful aphrodisiac.

Majofo

MF

... plus she'll be all jelly over the hot coeds you'll be mingling with.

two words.. study session.

Dr. Colorado

Hells ya!

Majofo

well.. if you play your cards right. literally.

potmilkz

.. if she really likes you and wants to be with you then shes gotta accept you for who you are... money is not everything..

but you, yourself gotta change as well to better yourself.

dont stay at your job because your comfortable with it..

gotta sacrifice something for something better..
__________________

1killercls

One time at band camp.....

Rock2534

I don't want to repeat what others have said, but you need to reassess yourself what you are doing and cut out the wasteful behaviors. It is easy to get comfortable and feel like you have it good when you are living at home and are able to buy pretty much whatever you want. That is cool for a few years and you are still young, but when you are 26+ and still in the same situation it isn't too cool anymore, 30 will come very quickly.

If anything you should be hoarding your money while you are living at home to fall back on in the event you do go back to school. Definitely don't be spending a lot of money on her, you didn't say you were so I am not going to assume. I would look at your job situation and ask yourself if you would be happy with it 5 yrs from now. If not, you should start looking into education of some kind now, because you should not expect your current job to progress rapidly. Unfortunately most companys will favor promoting someone with a degree over someone without.

Your money may seem good now, but you should take a look at what it costs to own a house and everything that goes along with that.

Bottom line, the whole assessment process should be based on you, your girl should not be a factor in it whatsoever.

03bl AC k CL

never change who you are for anybody but yourself. if shes not into who you are, then you should be with somebody who accepts you as you are... thats really the only advice i can give you. After you sort that out it will make every other decision much easier to make.

justnspace

iTrader: (1)

hey, show us some pictures!

aznboi2424

iTrader: (10)

I have a lady friend like that with high tastes (eating out, wearing 300 dollar D&G bags) and I cannot see myself with her. Not that I'm cheap with my money but I like to spend it smartly and invest it into my education. If I start having her lifestyle, fail. I come from a low income family, so that type of spending at this time in my life is not for me. If she's trying to change me, then she's not into me.

I'm a full time student working part time and I have little time if any between school and studying. I know that once I get my degree and make thousands a month, then I can afford that lifestyle. Spending beyond our means is how we got into this recession.

I'm all for papering yourself and buying nice things but your going back to school. You can't afford that lifestyle right now and if she can't see that then you need to stop.

Flipster23

iTrader: (15)

Aznboi2424 I call bull shit!



baller!

mark4130

man a-zine realy covers all aspects of life haha.

Flipster23

iTrader: (15)

You just dont kno

LOL!

We cover everything.

From baby momma drama, to herpes, to aidz, to relationships, to news you find it all here on Azine.

Dr. Colorado

aznboi2424

iTrader: (10)

oh sweet I got a thumbs up from rick!

1killercls

Fucking A right! Well said!!!

CUNextTuesday

You think that makes you a classy guy? Seems like all she did was turn you on to a bunch of materialistic bullshit. And then you're saying that you're worried she'll meet rich guys with nice cars at college.... She sounds like a real winner! You will someday (hopefully) realize that none of that matters. If she's actually as wonderful as you say, then she won't leave you for these reasons... but if she does, then consider yourself lucky.

justnspace

iTrader: (1)

Kamikazi should tell her CUNextThursday.