kevin79925

dump him and get with me! pm me......

mfkitson

A word of old guy advice, if he drinks that much and is that old, unless a miracle happens, he's a gonner, and you should be too. Don't try to change him, you can't, don't waste your life on someone that has that many problems unless your a psych major and want the practice...

Waddy

I think you are giving them both too much credit, especially him.

Affairs of the heart are never easy so I can understand her hesitation, but the dude on the other hand sounds like the typical "fuck-up-then-do-something-sweet-to-get-her-back" guy. She's young and she thinks she can fix him, and everytime he does something sweet for her she mistakes that pin sized light of hope for a bright ray....................until he fucks up again, and you know he will.

I know you want to fix him but what you don't realize is this guy is not the end all be all of your life. You have too much going for you and you actually have dreams and goals, I just hope you wise up soon and you don't use pre-adult puppy love as an excuse to hold yourself back.

evilstorm

Wad, you should look into writing newspaper columns or something...

phipark

These are basically the main ingredients for a grade A loser. Dump him, you a dating a loser.

Doc.Booty

If the threat of losing her (or possibility of getting her back once she's gone) isn't enough to push him to clean up, nothing will. He obviously values getting drunk and driving more than his freedom, i'm surprised he isn't in jail yet - Michigan is usually really hard on drunk drivers.

Like i said, she's 20, she doesn't need to be tying herself down with this guy when there are many better choices out there. She won't change him by sticking around, he has to want to change himself.

dabuda

sounds like a long term alcoholic/loser

wouldnt be suprised if he's already spent more money on booze then you

Waddy

Hey, hey, hey, wait a second good alcohol is expensive now!

To steal a page from the book of Junkster..........

-Waddy whose AMEX is still smarting after buying 19 shots of Patron amongst other things this weekend.

CGTSX2004

iTrader: (1)

This guy is not worth your time. You sound like someone who is motivated to go places and he sounds like he's going to become a belligerent drunk who would likely do anything to continue to feed his habit. It's time to let go and move one. It will be hard at first, but I'm sure a nice girl like you should have no problems finding a guy who would enjoy your company and give you the kindness and respect you deserve.

Good luck.

TLD

There is no excuse for cheating. Dump him, send me a PM, and we'll talk it over.

Python2121

my prediction is that youll dump him and he'll realize what hes lost and come crying back promising he'll change, and you take him back but he wont cause at 24 your pretty much on the track for the rest of your life

but yea, dump him, shouldn't even be a question

UNCTYPE-S

even though i tried to help in this thread, my vote is to not listen to anybody but yourself. Always go with your first hunch......even posting a thread like "do i dump him?" means that its on your mind and your worried. thats not good when it comes to a relationship and you need to do something about it.

do what will make you feel happy in the long run.

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

I don't get some people. I have a bunch of friends that are heavy drinkers. However when they got married, or in a relationship, that slowed down. If he is drinking that much, he has a serious problem. If he keeps saying that he will change, then reverting to his old self after a couple days, then he has a really serious problem.

It sucks that you feel as strongly about him, but it sounds like he doesn't respect your feelings on this. Also, not to be morbid, but do you want to wait til he does something really destructive, like crashing his car from being hammered, before you deal with it. He needs to deal with his problem, and maybe you telling him that you can't be with him anymore will be the KICK IN THE ASS he needs.

Either way, just be selfish a little and consider your own feelings and safety before you consider his.

PS....the whole cheating thing is UNACCEPTABLE! Kick the crap out of him for that one.

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

Oh, but the way, personally I think you should dump his ass.

supermegaglossy

I couldn't agree more. Girl, you're smart and pretty and you deserve way better. If you continue the relationship, you're going to be supporting his ass in 5 years, he'll be mooching off you.

Men don't change.

I hate to say it, but I think you're in love with a deadbeat. You have so much more opportunity in your life, and that means more opportunity to find a guy who has goals and cares about you enough to not do all the bad things he's doing.

ironchef10

A leopard doesn't change it's spots.

Time to punch out.

zamo

I wonder why you have not dumped him since he cheated...

F900

Dump him. if he cheats on you again..... his 1st defense is the bottle

darrinb

i've met the guy before

didnt seem that bad to me

cusdaddy

I'd recommend to not let him hold you back. I don't know the guy other than what you described, and although there may be some good things about him, I'd say at your age, don't get stuck in a situation like this. He appears to lack real motivation, looks to have a drinking problem and he cheated on you. All big warning signs. It will only get worse over time.

I know you love him, but having these doubts is a good thing. You're still young. You have your whole life ahead of you.

I was in a similar situation when I was in college and I wasted some great opportunties. I was in love, but I missed out on a lot. Luckily, I was able to move on and not let her hold me back, now I'm a better person for it. I've now met someone who is motivated, intelligent and overall just a better fit for me. I couldn't be happier. At the time I thought I'd lost something great, but looking back now, it was the best thing I could have done.

Take some time off... Explore what you really need/want.. Then make a decision.

Junkster

hmmm... so he must not come off totally as an a-hole...

98... what's the word on this situation?

Junkster, who is curious

Gilgamesh

Why do women like fucking pieces of shit like this asshole?

Ditch his ass, kick him to the curb. Its fucks like this that sour girls on men...like the one I am seeing now...similar shit happened to her, and she doesn't want to get involved with men anymore. Fuck one of her friends dumped a beer over her head, and she finally decided it was the last straw, after all the shit he put her through, and this guy feels no remorse for it. He even talked to me all friendly like when he happened to be getting lunch at the same place I was.

How many times is this guy going to screw you over? Get out before you cost yourself something with a real man, please. Stop wasting your time. You may hurt now, but in less than a month you will be more than happy that you moved on.

G

I think that the biggest problem is not with him, but with yourself. Yes, this guy has some serious issues that will take a lot of work to fix. But, do you not realize what you yourself have just said?? This guy has cheated on you!!! If that is not enough for you to leave him in a sec, then I strongly advise that you yourself get some help. You are a b-e-a-utifull young lady who is working and studying hard. You have goals and aspirations that you are striving for. You seeam to have a good strong head on your shoulders when it comes to matters of the world. However, when it comes to matters of the heart, I feel that you desperatley need some help. Cheating on someone who you supposedly love does not just happen. I don't care how drunk you are, if you love someone, you just don't do that kind of a thing. So, for you to not leave him in the instant that you found out worries me greatly. What you need to do is to help yourself before you can even remotley think about hepling someone else. You need to get yourself ready for a trusting, loving relationship before you can even think about entering one.

Also, do you trully love this guy or are you just in a relationship to just be in a relationship or because it is comfortable and is what is seen as the right thing??

Now, about the great mistery man. Trust me, you cannot help him. If you only listen to one thing I say, please, listen to this!! YOU CANNOT HELP HIM!! I have been there done that, and observed it many a time. People have to see the rock bottom before they can see the light at the ned of the tunnel (this is not true for 100% of the people in need, but 99.9%). They have to fight there own battles. If you contiue to stay with him, things will only get worse. Please trust me on this!! If you trully do love this guy, and are not with him just for being with someone or because it is "comfortable", you will realize that to trully help him, you will leave him. Yes it will hurt like hell. But in the long run, it will be for the best.

So, I know that I have forgoten a ton of stuff that I wanted to stay, but this already getting pretty long and I getting pretty tired.

I hope that you will do what you feel in your heart is correct and not let any other wishes or distractions misguide you.

G

Because they like the attention, be it good or bad. Or so I am told. Fckin pisses me off to. Girls will always say that all they want is a good guy to take home to mom and dad. BUT, then they always end up with a-holes like yours trully. What a crock of crap.

sasha

Not true. I hate assholes. Would rather be with a nice, responsible guy.

Junkster

Be honest... you don't want a goodie-goodie guy. You want someone who will thrill you and make your heart skip a beat from time to time...

Nice and responsible... ha.

Junkster, who wants some conclusion to 98's decision

sasha

Ha! A guy can make a girl's heart skip without being a jerk. You can still be nice and make things interesting by controlling the pace of the courtship.

Sasha, who often wonders why some guys think being nice equals being boring.

TSX 'R' US

because some girl told him he's boring at some point...

it varies from girl to girl... win some lose some..

Junkster

Because that's how girls equate 'nice and responsible'...

Nice guys are the ones that the girls like to 'talk' to and call them 'sweethearts'... while they bang the a-hole and complain to the nice guy.

Junkster, who believes in the 'nice guys finish last' phrase

SilviaGTO

he is 100% right.

also. actions speak louder than words. Dont listen to what he says, listen to what he does, and hell be telling you something completely different.

and, im not saying that you want or are going to get married or have children, but is he the type of guy you would want near children all the time?

G

Well then you are one of those rare cases where someone sees that they will go farther in life with someone who is a "nice, responsible guy".

But enough thread jacking, back to 98'. What's goin on with said complication??

Joe5.0

At 20 years old I dont think you deserve to be dealing with that kinda stuff, and if he really cared for you as much as you seem to care fr him, he wouldnt be out getting drunk, getting arressted, etc. I think the fact that you are serious enough to post a thread on a public car forum pretty much seals the deal.

And I dont know how you do it, but if my gf ever cheated on me, we would be done. I would expect her to do the same to me, regardless of my alcohol levels. There's just something so hurtful & wrong about deceit like that.

You are too smart & cool to have to worry about stuff like this.

Good luck with it, I know it aint any fun. My prediction is that whe/if you break up after a cople days you'll feel alot better, like a hug burden has been lifted off your shoulders. I'm sure the stress of the relationship has been spilling over into your school/work life, so thats not a good sign if you're looking to have a serious & meaningful relationship.

Doc.Booty

evilone

damm girl drop his ass. come to va.

G

Yeah I know. Like I said earlier, it is a rare case. However, what I said only applies to the ladies between 19-2?, after a while, they realize that the a-holes who they have been hanging on to really are as bad as everyone else thinks.

At least, this is what I am told and have witnessed through personal experience.

Back on topic, 98', it seems that everyone is in agreement that you should dump him. Good luck with whatever decision you make.

CGTSX2004

iTrader: (1)

It's not so much that being nice equals being boring, but most guys have the misconception that being nice means letting the girl decide everything. What most so-called "nice guys" fail to understand is that being nice does not preclude one from being assertive. They end up looking uncertain and weak and the girl loses interest.

Nice guys don't finish last, as long as they're smart about it.

95gt

Where the hells the update?

98CLChick

Thanks for all the advice guys! I really appreciate it.

I've been so overwhelmed with work and school, that I've hardly seen the bf in the last month, and right now I'm still debating whether or not to dump him. I know that it's so obvious, that I should, but it's hard. Regardless, I'm going to sit down and have a chat with him in the next few days, and let him know how I feel.

My dad gave me a lecture the other day (he knows about the dui b/c of some cop friends) and told me that I'm much better than this, and I need to kick him to the curb. My dad has disliked the guy since we started dating (picked me up one night smelling of beer) and so the bf hasn't been to my house or spoken with my parents in over a year. He knows that this bothers me (my family means a lot to me) and I told him after he cheated on me that he could partially redeem himself by making amends with my dad. Needless to say, 6 months later, he hasn't even attempted to speak with my parents.

This is driving me nuts!!! It keeps me awake at night. I'll let you guys know what happens when I talk to him in a few days.

Gilgamesh

You know what you need to do. Trust us here, and most of all, trust your father, sometimes he knows best, as in this case. Plus, he only wants what is best for you, and this guy is definitely not the best, he can't even handle his alcohol, even with all that practice.

Seriously though...kick him to the curb.





Then come to school here at the U of Utah.

PavDog

kick him to the curb..