miked8887

I was wondering if any other guys feel this way.......

First, I don't view women as lower than men. They are neither generally superior nor generally inferior. We are all generally equal, I have respect for everybody, and furthermore, I don't stereotype women (or anybody), so don't take this the wrong way.

Second, this has to do with relating with girls in GENERAL, not intimately.

Anyway,
Here's my problem with SOME girls: we get along and hang out, but they IMPLICITLY insult me several times. Now I'm a little more sensitive to insults, so when I get provoked and tell them to shut their f***in faces, they get all mad like they didn't do anything wrong. Then they act like I'M the bad guy and that I started it. It seems as if they don't understand implicit communication. I know I'm different than a lot of men who I know because I'll immediately respond adamantly to a girl if she gives me bad messages like that. I'm sorry, but my "I'm not accepting insults" policies are well refined.

Anyway, I always thought women were BETTER at non-verbal communication and sending implicit messages than men. That's the common notion anyway. But it seems that they are actually oblivious to the signals they are sending out in terms of these implicit insults. Its either the case that they are unaware and are not as good with the non-verbal stuff as men, or they really are knowledgeable which is just intentional disrespect. Just because an insult is not explicit doesn't mean you found an insulting-loop-hole. I still interpret it and take offense enough to tell her to get f***ed in the same way I would tell a guy who disrespected me. Guys I know rarely have this problem with unintentionally and implicitly insulting people. It seems to me that us men have better non-verbal communication skills than women, as opposed to the common notion . In fact, to me, insulting somebody implicitly and not knowing you did it is down right bad social skills.

I'm wondering if any other guys have experienced this as well.

PS: I know I sound mad, but I'm not at all. I just decided to ask this question. Also, lots of you will think I'm terrible for telling a girl to go get f***ed, but I don't discriminate women from men in terms of responding to disrespectful actions, and furthermore she well deserved it. They want to be treated equally, and they got it. Keep in mind that I respect EVERYBODY until they do something ignorant. So I don't want to hear that I'm a bad guy for responding so aggressively.

JT Money

There is a difference between treating people equally vs. treating them the same. I think your an idiot for treating women the same as men. Since when has getting along with someone included telling them to STFU.

Some girls talk shit, whether its flirtatious or malicious is for you to figure out.

Street Spirit

Can you give three different examples of what you are talking about ("insults")? I'm more curious about what it is that people do - you said women or men - that makes you tell them to STFU.

miked8887

^^ Wrong, we were in the SPECIFIC context of responding to DISRESPECT. I CLEARLY delineated that. In that context, you should respond equally to anybody. Women do not have a greater right to insult people than men do. I did not say that I treat women COMPLETELY equal as men anyway. I did say that in the specific context of being disrespected that they have no greater right. That is the ONLY equality in treatment that I stated should exist. I also certainly treat women and men with the same level of respect. Any other aspects of life that involve treating men and women differently or equally were NOT mentioned by me at all, so you don't have any reason to declare that I generally treat women equally to men. You're wrong on that.

Also, I did not say anything about not 'getting along' either. You again brought that in yourself, and its completely a different scenario. I said that she INSULTED me without any prior insults or wrong-doing from me. That is way different than simply not getting along. Not getting along would mean that neither of us is right or wrong. I stated that she was in the wrong for initiating insults. I already figured this part out myself and therefore I was not asking you for that interpretation about it. I would know better than you since I was actually there and you weren't. Furthermore, I did not insult anybody on this forum or intend to. I clearly stated that the only people I was derogatory toward were people who have already clearly insulted me for no reason. So learn to be more professional about your posts. If you have meaningful input, then say it, but don't call people names. It seems that you totally miscomprehended my post.

Also, I did not say that the girl was 'talking shit' like you said. I said 'implicit insult.' Talking shit is EXPLICIT. I think I can also tell that it was not flurtatious. It was just malicious.

JT, considering how quickly it took you to respond, you didn't put much thought into your response. No offense, but this stuff is complex and requires thought. I did NOT say I had a problem with women in general, but I have a right to not like DISRESPECTFUL women (or men) solely due to their disrespect.

I thought we could share mature experiences about touchy issues, but if people are going to start getting mad, then I'm bailing and asking the admins to just close this thread. I also apologize to the admins for causing a rukus because I did not intend for that. But overall, NOBODY should take disrespect if they haven't already done something disrespectful themselves. So I adamantly maintain my correctness about telling that girl to STFU, and I would be the ONLY person on this forum who knows enough about that girl's actions. Also, this has only happened with like 1% of all the women I've met. It might seem like more than 1% because its the focus of this message.

Aman

sometimes women imply stuff and yet they don't know it. Then that gives them the priveledge to be surprised. But when a girl implies an insult and it's obvious she knows EXACTLY what she's implying, then play her game.

Ken1997TL

Find some different girls

darksom1

I don't have a problem with this. I empathize in fact. I'm an equal opportunity insulter. I go hard against man or woman. Because women are of the fairer sex, it is always thought they should be handled with kid gloves by the masses. I disagree. I will curse a woman slam the fuck out if she approaches me with disrespect! That is a pet peeve of mine. If someone else thinks that is wrong I don't give a fuck about that or how it looks. Neither did they (woman) when she approached me...if you can dish it out, you better be able to take it...

Now, having said that, I am talking about a woman outright disrespecting me. Blatant. Not something where I was just thin-skinned, which I am not. If you are overly sensitive to rejection, criticism or sarcasm, then you have a problem to work on yourself. It's rough in the pros...

But no, I see nothing wrong with telling a woman off. I don't swing for the fences each time, but I will let them know what time it is if they don't come correct with no problem...

darksom1

One other thing:

In reference to the title question, I don't judge women as a whole. I don't like it when women do it to us, so I don't. So I don't agree on any answer that will be considered an overall judgement call...like your title. I only know the women I have talked to or been around. Those women may not necessarily suck at subterfuge, discretion, misdirection, or cloaking their true thoughts...I am just sharp at sniffing out bullshit and they can tell you woman for woman...

Women I knew have tried to be ambiguous with their comments when it comes to being a smart-ass, but it doesn't work. Trying to allow themselves a backdoor in case things go awry...NOPE! FAIL! But guys do that shit too, and so I think it is up to the individual that is receiving the bullshit, on how good the "opposition" truly is...I guess you have a good ear for it as well?

Straighten that sensitivity issue out and you will be alright my dude...

RMATIC09

man you sure sound like a pussy. Who gives a damn if a chick insults you. Your so insecure that you'll actually lash out at a chick?

You know what the best revenge for an obnoxious chick is? your dick in her mouth.

Agent0r

and

Street Spirit

Your two posts talk in circles and are pretty vague. That's why I suggested actually giving us examples of the situations you are referring to or providing us with more detail. People really won't have any idea what you are talking about unless you tell us. So stating the obvious doesn't help ("I was there, you weren't").

People have different levels of sensitivity, have different social filters, have different types of 'conversation' so it doesn't come to any surprise to me that what might offend you might not offend another. It's pretty clear that if someone turns you off or upsets you, (s)he is not someone you will want to be around or carry on a relationship with. So move on and keep meeting new people. I will say that if it's a pattern that women "insult" you and seem shocked and surprised when you call them out on it, perhaps the issue stems from you and not them. Perhaps, as you mentioned, you're just very sensitive to what others deem 'acceptable' and you need to realize not every blanket statement is something they (women) are gearing towards you or saying to attack you personally -- but just your interpretation of it. It's certainly your right not to accept their views and move on.

Well, no offense either, but . Was this meant to be some really deep philosophical debate?

This is a sub-forum of Ramblings. While there might be some topics require more thought than others, know that some people might be here to help others, while others just visit for entertainment and as a way to pass time. Some posts might be helpful, novel-long responses, while others will be quirky one-liners.

We all agree that continual, harsh, personal attacks are not permitted here. However, you chose to post a thread on a public forum and it will yield responses you like and some you don't. We simply do not close every thread that does not receive the type of responses Posters had hoped to hear. Issues between members will be dealt with when necessarily, but we generally do not censor our members and we don't interfere without cause.

darksom1

Ok...I tried not to say that, but fuck it since you did...

JT Money

You did mention getting along.

It may be complex to some but not all.

doopstr

I don't think I've ever realized when girl insulted me. I was too busy trying to figure out the combination to their pants.

1Louder

I'm with SS - we need examples or no one is going to have any idea what you are talking about.

There are obvious body language clues that most people understand they are sending and will recognize them if they see them.

Then there's a whole range of stuff that people don't know they are doing, or are either misunderstood or plain missed by those that see them.

In the absence of any other information, you could simply be one of those (many) people who are a) over-sensitive to what you see and b) often misinterpret it. I would say a LOT of women are in that category, given the woman-to-woman conflicts I deal with at work. 90% of them are people unintentionally sending and then misunderstanding non-verbal cues.

Or, you are just more skilled at this than others, which is fine. Good skill to have actually. But to tell women to STFU over stuff they don't realize they are doing seems a bit over the top. If they don't realize they are doing it, but you punish them just the same, you become one of those guys that girls stand around and wonder "what's his problem".

Anyway to your question - based on my experience, women are much more likely than men to send (intentional and unintentional) non-verbal cues. They are also much more likely to not interpret what they see correctly, which creates very common woman-to-woman misunderstandings. Men don't seem nearly as sensitive to it - both sending and receiving. Some may call that a bit more "clueless" - I call it a lot less drama. This all, of course, highly generalized and not applicable to all.

darksom1

Upon further review...this topic is lame and the OP is wack! Getting pissed and telling a chick off is one thing if she disrespected you. To do it because she hurt your feelings, and you are overly sensitive to criticism is ghey...so yeah, after "profound thinking"...this shit is lame...

anarchy[sear]

iTrader: (1)

I actually did the other night. Took my friends to the strip club and this ugly ass girl was walking by asking "did you get to see me dance" I was like no and girl was like "Fucking Freeloaders" and see walked away. I'm not sure if that is an insult though.

EL19

iTrader: (4)

nope just the truth just F'n wit u...but to the OP we need some examples

phee

iTrader: (5)

i EXPLICITLY think you may be overtly sensitive.
maybe thats why you got your feelings hurt over something that the other party didnt notice happened.
if many of the girls do the same thing to offend you, then maybe, just maybe, you may be the issue.

anarchy[sear]

iTrader: (1)

Hey shut your fucking faces

^Even reading that back to myself sounds so mean.

1killercls

OP...prepare for a life of no pussy.

Ken1997TL

MikeD, you strike me as one of those guys who overthinks things. Far too analytical for your own good.

Step 1: Acknowledge this

Step 2: Amazon.com

Step 3: Purchase The Big Bang Theory Season 1

Step 4: Take notes while watching, they have the same problems as you

BraveDemon

Maybe its just me, but I've always been told that its generally a bad thing to "swear" at women?

My dad would beat my ass even if I shouted an expletive (from something as stubbing my toe) infront of my Mom or even a girl friend I had over at my house.

And no offense, but "Shut your F*#n face" would immediately elicit a hostile response from anyone.

anarchy[sear]

iTrader: (1)

Shut your fucking face........Hey I can get use to this

darksom1

^ Hahahaha...I can see dude (OP) saying that shit mad than a mofo right now...

EL19

iTrader: (4)

and the chick scared shitless LOL

capnff

darksom1 has it on lock...

anarchy[sear]

iTrader: (1)

The next time you feel an urge of angerness you should take your hand start rubbing the back of your ears and say WWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! and then look at the girl that is so called insulting you and say "Hey its not nice can you PLEASE shut your fucking face"(In a nice tone of course so that you don't sound too agressive or overly mean) Remember please can come a long way.

amisconception

miked,

what you're experiencing is women shit testing you. it's a common practice many women employ. they use it to measure your medal (sp) as a man. there are only two ways to pass shit tests: 1.) completely ignore it or 2.) use cocky and funny banter to throw it back her way.

keep in mind, women only do this to guys they find some interest in. women don't lust over guys with weak frame who are hypersensitive to what some little girl might just say. how are you supposed to protect her offspring from sabre-tooth tigers if all it takes are a couple words to throw you off your rocker? it's a filtering mechanism. women don't even realize they're doing it, but it's an effective way of seperating the weak (you) from the strong.

mystikk

^ Ouch.

davidspalding

Fixed.

davidspalding

I think you're far better at interpreting implicit, non-verbal language, so good at it that you're probably imagining some or all of those "insults."

Regardless, telling a woman "shut the **** up" or "**** off" verbally in response to a non-verbal cue is the surest sign of a loser that a woman needs. If you think there's some subtextual conversation that's derogatory to you, just keep the verbal exchange pleasant and respectful, and move away deliberately and without delay. If you find this happens more often than not, The Clue is there in flashing colorful lights: you're overreacting.

If this happens once in a while, maybe you're falling into the wrong crowds. Oh, I know the type: I've encountered a lot of young women who were dishonest or cock-teasing. Some of the lines I got soooo tired of hearing, "You're a really niiiiice guuuuuuy," and "Let's talk again, real soon!" I just learned to identify the ones who were being inauthentic like this, and avoided them. Did it hurt getting treated like this? Of course not, because it doesn't hurt to have someone you don't respect taking jabs at you, it's like a mosquito in a large room.

Summary: when in doubt, take the high road, the low road says more about you than the person you're reacting to. Consider also that a woman who you really appeal to is nearby -- hearing/seeing your "shut the **** up" reaction is probably going to change her mind permanently.

Just my . Nothing personal intended, so don't react with ... "shut the **** up," okay?

sasha

x 452109565456412890

darksom1

PINK???? WTF???

Oh shut up already honey! You tell 'em girl!

Renegade

lmao

arstraub

OKAY

Rather than bitching back @ her, figure out where the hell she's coming from. It's useless to bicker back and forth, just see why she's telling you to STFU and where her anger is coming from. If she really means to insult you, there IS a reason and it'll only get worse if you start being bitchy back. Try to figure out the root of the problem and it'll be fine. Please do ignore the dill holes saying the bs they came up with to try to get a bj. , if i was pissed and my bf tried to pull that shit on me, i wouldn't hesitate to oblidge and then bite him instead and, HOPEFULLY, their one-night stands would do the same.

ILLustriousUA6

iTrader: (2)

i would have to say this is a VERY interesting read.. For sensitive men. LOL. like myself.. But i stand corrected now...

if i could give some of you guys rep points,, i'd take my dear time and hand it out to you bishes!!

davidspalding

Most of that gimmicky malarkey is discarded once someone's graduated from Bar Chat 101.

darksom1

I have one question...read everything you just said...now REVERSE it...if the man came to you and called you a bitch, would you pause, and then say to yourself, Hey, if he is calling me a bitch, then I should really attempt to see where his anger is coming from and not say anything to him to make him call me another bitch?...And this is a serious question...if you say you would maintain an even keel, and try to understand why and/or what is making him so angry, then I must certainly genuflect my dear Astraub...

Again, this is a serious question based on your previous response...

arstraub

The only people who call me names are guy friends who I know are kidding. If my sig. other says im being a bitch, I wouldn't say anything bad back to him, I'd just ask him where he's coming from. It'd be useless for us to just get upset @ one another, so I take the time to figure out why he's saying things - but I suppose this ONLY applies to my sig. other. I guess I just don't hang out with people who would honestly call me names; tends to be that my circle of friends has more respect for me than that.