Did you peeps read my post at all? All I said was "ON AVERAGE...", I didn't imply or say that your marriage will only last that long. Maybe your will last a lifetime, but then there are others that lasted for merely a month long. Alot of you peeps on here really need a good dose of reality when it comes to marriage here. Getting married and live happily ever after , the Cinderella story is FICTIONAL people, it's not REAL.

 

The problem is your "average" figure is

 

Maybe it's the Hollywood average?

Seriously, I was very cynical about a marriage being forever, but now realize that way of thinking is wrong. If you don't think it will last, there is no point in ever getting married. It may not last forever, but you can't go into a marriage waiting for/expecting it to end. Just make sure you are upfront with whoever you date.

 

yea, you really aren't understanding the aspect, or what anyone is saying. You my friend, are very very confused.


Still waiting to here what social changes have happened, etc. But it appears getting straight answers out of you is completely useless.

 

Some interesting statistics on marriage. Average length of first marriage ending in divorce is about 7-8 years, if I read this chart correctly.
http://divorcesupport.about.com/gi/d.../statsUS.shtml

2002 except where noted)
Total divorces granted in 1997: 1,163,000
Rate per 1,000 population (1999):
(excluding CA, CO, IN and LA)
4.1
State with the lowest divorce rate: (1997) Massachusetts. Rate per 1,000 population: 2.4
State with the higest divorce rate: Nevada. Rate per 1,000 population: (1997) 9.0
Percentage of population that is married: 59% (down from 62% in 1990, 72% in 1970)
Percentage of population that has never married: 24%
Percentage of population that is divorced: 10% (up from 8% in 1990, 6% in 1980)
Percentage of population that is widowed: 7%
Median age at first marriage: Males: 26.9
Females: 25.3
Median age at first divorce: Males: 30.5
Females: 29
Median age at second marriage: Males: 34
Females: 32
Median age at second divorce: Males: 39.3
Females: 37
Median duration of first marriages that end in divorce: Males: 7.8 years
Females: 7.9 years
Median duration of second marriages that end in divorce: Males: 7.3 years
Females: 6.8 years
Median number of years people wait to remarry after their first divorce: Males: 3.3 years
Females: 3.1 years
Percentage of married people who reach their 5th, 10th, and 15th anniversaries: 5th: 82%
10th: 65%
15th: 52%
Percentage of married people who reach their 25th, 35th, and 50th anniversaries: 25th: 33%
35th: 20%
50th: 5%
Percentage of people who have ever been married by the age of 25: Males: 32%
Females: 50%
Percentage of people who have ever been married by the age of 35: Males: 77%
Females: 84%
Percentage of people who have ever been married by the age of 45: Males: 87%
Females: 90%
Percentage of people who have ever been married by the age of 55: Both males and females: 95%
Likelihood of new marriages ending in divorce in 1997: 43%
Percentage of all householders who are unmarried in 2000: 48%
Percentage of weddings which are remarriages for at least one partner in 1997: 43%
Percentage of first marriages that end in divorce in 1997: 50%
Percentage of remarriages that end in divorce in 1997: 60%

 

OK, so his figures were off by as much as 4 times.

I'm also wondering if this stat means that , for marriages that end in divorce their average length is 8 years, OR, for ALL mariages their average length is 8 years. Makes a big difference.

 

Correlating faith and marital success turns out to be a murky task. That said, for whatever reason, Catholics do better than other Christian groups.
http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm
Variation in divorce rates among Christian faith groups:
Denomination (in order of decreasing divorce rate) % who have been divorced
Non-denominational (small groups; independents) 34%
Baptists 29%
Mainline Protestants 25%
Mormons 24%
Catholics 21%
Lutherans 21%

Barna's results verified findings of earlier polls: that conservative Protestant Christians, on average, have the highest divorce rate, while mainline Christians have a much lower rate. They found some new information as well: that atheists and agnostics have the lowest divorce rate of all. George Barna commented that the results raise "questions regarding the effectiveness of how churches minister to families." The data challenge "the idea that churches provide truly practical and life-changing support for marriage."

Donald Hughes, author of The Divorce Reality, said: "In the churches, people have a superstitious view that Christianity will keep them from divorce, but they are subject to the same problems as everyone else, and they include a lack of relationship skills. ...Just being born again is not a rabbit's foot." Hughes claim that 90% of divorces among born-again couples occur after they have been "saved."
And an earlier excerpt from this post notes the lack of correlation, in general, between depth of faith and strenght of marriage. Not terribly encouraging, but the Catholic marriage ratios are less successful than, say, your run of the mill agnostic.

The slogan: "The family that prays together, stays together" is well known. There has been much anecdotal evidence that has led to "unsubstantiated claims that the divorce rate for Christians who attended church regularly, pray together or who meet other conditions is only 1 or 2 percent". 8 [Emphasis ours]. Dr. Tom Ellis, chairman of the Southern Baptist Convention's Council on the Family said that for "...born-again Christian couples who marry...in the church after having received premarital counseling...and attend church regularly and pray daily together..." experience only 1 divorce out of nearly 39,000 marriages -- or 0.00256 percent. 9

A recent study by the Barna Research Group throws extreme doubt on these estimates. Barna released the results of their poll about divorce on 1999-DEC-21. 1 They had interviewed 3,854 adults from the 48 contiguous states. The sampling error is within 2 percentage points. The survey found:

11% of the adult population is currently divorced.
25% of adults have had at least one divorce during their lifetime.
Divorce rates among conservative Christians were much higher than for other faith groups, and for Atheists and Agnostics. :killer:

George Barna, president and founder of Barna Research Group, commented: "While it may be alarming to discover that born again Christians are more likely than others to experience a divorce, that pattern has been in place for quite some time. Even more disturbing, perhaps, is that when those individuals experience a divorce many of them feel their community of faith provides rejection rather than support and healing. But the research also raises questions regarding the effectiveness of how churches minister to families. The ultimate responsibility for a marriage belongs to the husband and wife, but the high incidence of divorce within the Christian community challenges the idea that churches provide truly practical and life-changing support for marriages."
According to the Dallas Morning News, a Dallas TX newspaper, the national study "raised eyebrows, sowed confusion, [and] even brought on a little holy anger." This caused George Barna to write a letter to his supporters, saying that he is standing by his data, even though it is upsetting. He said that "We rarely find substantial differences" between the moral behavior of Christians and non-Christians. Barna Project Director Meg Flammang said: "We would love to be able to report that Christians are living very distinct lives and impacting the community, but ... in the area of divorce rates they continue to be the same." Both statements seem to be projecting the belief that conservative Christians, liberal Christians have the same divorce rate. This disagrees with their own data.

 

"Median duration of first marriages that end in divorce"

 

OK, so the average length of ALL marriages will be significantly higher.

 

the former - which then raises the issue of the average length of the non-divorced marriage.

 

well obviously


but since pretty much half of marriages end in divorce.......

 

Well still. Assuming the other half make it to 40 years on average (which I think is reasonable) that raises the average to 24 years, which is slightly higher than the 2 years that was claimed.

 

Other surveys indicate that the relationship between fundamental Christian beliefs and a higher divorce rate is coincidental, and not causal - that the higher incidence of divorce parallels other indices, such as average wealth/poverty, education, etc.

So far I have not been able to turn up an average lenght of non-divorced marriages.

 

i'd love for this guy to stop lurking and make a post that makes sense

 

Houston, we have hijack.

 

I think the whole point really is, if you believe your marriage will fail, it will,,,,,and sometimes if you don't believe it will fail it still might.


and



Those that I know that have been married a long time (30+ years) are VERY VERY happy and apparently married for the right reason. LOVE not pressure

 

""til Death do us part?"
While this is probably generally true, I think that most couples that have been together that long have gone through some rough spots in their marriage serious enough to cause divorce in other couples.

 

 

still waiting

 

 

I can't stand people who make statements then never bother to back them up w/ a discussion; or even an explanation

that should be an automatic

 

Absolutely true, everyone goes through bad times, but the LOVE sees them through.

moral to the story:

If you aren't completely beyond all doubt in "I can't be without you" LOVE, don't put on that ring!

 

Who cares about statistics.

Spidey, she's pressuring you because she wants to get married (obviously), so why put aside her main concern of the relationship? Either embrace it, or break it off so she can search for another relationship that has marriage potential.

 

I'll have to respectfully disagree. Just because he doesn't want to get married right away does not mean he doesn't want to get married. It just has to be when he is ready, not just because she wants it NOW. Marriage should not be put on such a short time-table.

On the other hand, if you think it will be a long time before you are ready to marry someone, then they should know that up front and make a decision if they are willing to wait.

 

He's 34. What the hell is he waiting for? Most of the good ones are probably all taken anyways. If you've found yourself a good girl, dont let her get away.

 

Amen to that!! that happened to me...wanting me to wait indefinitely, while he flipped-flopped back and forth.

 

I definately want to get married.

But my main concern is being on such a short time table and feel like I'm being forced which does nothing more than quite honestly make me want to find somebody else. She's essentially saying "Let's get married right away. I need to be married." Which honestly makes me feel like crap...like she would marry anybody. I've known women who are like that and a bunch of them that just hop from marriage to marriage (with only a few months between them).

that's just not right.

oh well. I've warned her multiple times to knock it off. call me a jerk if you will but I have a no whining/bitching policy.

 

Do you have that policy in writing? Can you post it or PM it to me?

 

i hear ya

 

You have the right attitude! Do it only because you want her! Not because she needs to be married!

 

seriously, when is the guy gonna reply

 

Geez, since when did the average man or woman for that matter know "up-front"...it has more to do each realtionship on an individual basis...cannot rubber stamp it...just too, too important.

 

Stats show that for the type of marriage you were interested in...75% fail...do you want to fly on a plane that crashes 75% of the time?
















Didn't think so

 

WTF, you guys aren't ashamed that you're JUST another statistic?

 

Says you...the only way it would have failed is if you cheated...And I was willing to take my chances...too bad everyone doesn't believe in true love like I do.

 

And yes I would have gotten on that plane if it meant sitting next to you when I died! Don't presume to know what I feel or would or would not do. You obviously don't know me that well.

 

the love boat is sinking.

 

Geez, since when did the average man or woman for that matter know "up-front"...it has more to do each realtionship on an individual basis...cannot rubber stamp it...just too, too important.


Stats show that for the type of marriage you were interested in...75% fail...do you want to fly on a plane that crashes 75% of the time?

Either you believe in statistics or you don't?? Can't be what's convenient for you at the time.

 

The u-boat has struck!

 

LOL...