Originally Posted by wellhung2004

Alright, I"m a member of a different board, and someone posted the 21 tips for better sex , but I felt it was only directed at men, like the blame for bad shit in the bedroom is only our fault, so I came back with that, let me know what yah think...It's fair and balanced. The black version is the original, the blue is my version directed at the ladies.

21 Tips For Better Sex

ALWAYS KISS HER FIRST If you head straight for the business district, she'll feel like you're paying by the hour. Kissing is a great way to get her motor running, so make it lengthy and imaginative, that means more than 2 seconds. Start gently, and then graduate into a long, passionate kiss. It wouldn't hurt to nibble (lightly!) and suck on her lips, too. And she'll melt if you hold her face in your hands and play with her hair.

KISS HIM IF YOU WANT TO, BUT NOT FOREVER. Men, don’t typically care for kissing as lengthy as women would like us to, so Kiss him, but do understand, that it doesn’t have to turn into the first high school make-out session every time you guys kiss. Go with the “round-the-world” approach: Kiss him on the lips (lips, tongue, whatever else you desire), then kiss down his pectoral muscle, stomach, turn him around and kiss his back (but be smooth, whisper turn over if you need help, cause bad communication just makes every situation awkward, and it diminishes the moment), then kiss all over his back, even his butt cheeks (might tickle him slightly) and then for no reason, go back up to his mouth, for 10 seconds, and conclude it there.

BUT DON'T PLAY TONSIL HOCKEY Try not to pop your tongue out the back of her head. He who goes deepest doesn't win.

KEEP THE KISSING TO THE ESSENTIAL There is really no need for him to taste what you had for lunch, or breakfast. Light, sensual strokes are preferred, with a few jolts of passion (Yes, Men also react to passion, but it has to seem effortless, we like smooth women).

RUB HER THE RIGHT WAY Oil is good. And the whole production is well worth the effort. A well greased body looks and feels sexier, and the slick stuff stops your hands from ripping off her skin, just don't maul your lady like you're loosening up Bill Romanowski for the Super Bowl, OK? Be creative and don't just focus on the obvious spots. Sure, breasts and thighs are sensitive, but nothing beats a lengthy butt rub.

RUB HIM THE RIGHT WAY So he’s done rubbing you, what do you do then? In all due fairness do, the same! Guys are typically more sexual, than sensual, so the way to go there would be to use your ASSets, and TITans, whichever ones you have or both. If you do use your mammilary glands, you may even be surprised to see that your nipples will be stimulated by the rubbing against his body. ASS (intended) far as using the derriere, do it in the way an exotic dancer would (There is a reason why your man keeps giving his money away to her), that is, rub the obvious areas…groin, legs, etc… Keep a nice pace, so you can show control and maturity, but don’t go too fast, as to show nervousness, relax, it’s your show, show him you know what you’re doing.

MAKE SIZE MATTER Ninety-five percent of men measure the average five to seven inches when erect, but if you fall outside this range, there's plenty you can do to maximize the motion of your ocean.

If you're under-funded, use a deep penetrating position, like with her on top facing you and leaning backward.
If you're over-endowed (no smirking, there is such as thing as too big, and it hurts), hold back, stud. Ease into it slowly. She'll let you know when she wants it harder and faster.

WORK WITH HIS SIZE So it has long been established that a large portion of the male population averages from 5-6“1/2. Well, the average female vagina ranges 3-6 inches in the general population. So unless, you’re dating mister 4 inches, stop pretending to be a member of New Nymphos on the Block. The best advice, would be for these women to master Kegel exercises, some women, can squeeze and wrap around their partner’s penis, and that intensifies pleasure for both partners, the perfect vagina is still, wet, yet tight. You can also vary it up, using different positions, which may help stimulate deeper portions of the vagina.

If you are working with a bigger penis, don’t pretend to be what you’re not. If you’re working with a sensible person, once you indicate to them your limits, they’ll take it easy, and you’ll be fine. I recommend positions that make it seem deep, but that are not always. If you have a big butt, do it doggie-style, the cushion may absorb an inch or so. You can also use your hand, to let him know how deep to go, by lightly pushing off against his hips, when he goes in too deep.

GO TANTRIC If we complain that your technique is boring, look East for enlightenment. Originating in 3000 B.C., Tantric sex techniques allow intercourse to last for hours. The women who've tried it say it's great, but it might take you centuries to master. A good one to start with is thrusting in patterns: nine fast, deep ones, then one slow, shallow one; then eight deep, then two shallow; then seven deep and so on. Those old guys really knew their stuff, their shallow thrusts were finding her G-spot 5,000 years before any scientist did. Try the exotic sex page.

DON’T GO TANTRIC No one in his or her right mind wants to have sex for that long. Only people with free time and less occupations desire so; as would “those old guys…5,000 years ago” The reality is that, men, as do women, would like to have great intercourse for 25-35 minutes, spoon for the rest of it, have a light-minded discussion, and fall asleep. Sex is relaxing, not a job, not a vacation, not a mission. Enjoy it. You want to get in your zone, have that moment, where you feel no one can beat you, and then gladly bow out, until the next game. The key is to sometimes, when things intensify, slow it down, instead of going faster, slow it down, do what I call, stretching the minute. Slow it down, make every stroke count, but don’t reduce it to snail-pace. Alternate speed, and then squeeze your vagina muscle ladies, and guys, push in deeper, but slower, and that’s it, then pick up the pace again, etc….

TRIPLE HER ORGASMS This might sound complicated, but those who have played the game swear by it. The coital alignment technique (CAT) supposedly triples her chance of orgasm and gives you a better chance of having the simultaneous orgasm you thought only happened in the movies.

Start in the missionary position, but then shift your hips a few inches up her body. This gives you a shallower penetration, and the shaft of your penis pushes up against all of her important parts. Resting your full weight on her, wrap her legs around yours, and synchronize your horizontal dancing so that your pelvic bone rubs against hers. Maintain a steady pace and have two pairs of industrial strength earplugs handy for the "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, OH MY GOD" finale.

PROLONG HIS ORGASM This might sound really simple, so relax your thinking muscle, and you’ll swear by it. Do what makes him feel good. Nothing super crazy, if your man, likes to slap your ass while he’s hitting it from the back, then turn around, put all the back you’ve got in front of him, and whisper to him to give it a good smack. If he likes to pull your hair, then let your hair down, and let it get it little grab on it, if he’s not tearing your roots out, then bear with the minimal pain, and let him pull on it.

The thing about men and sex is that it is frequently about regaining control. The average man usually has a boss, or pressures, or expectations, just as you do. If he’s a good, respectful man, there is not reason why you can’t give up control to him for a few minutes, once in awhile. Just go with the flow, so he’ll enjoy the whole twenty minutes, and not just the last 3. Keep in mind that the point here is not to give up control, but just to listen to him, and get into it.

LEAVE THE HICKEYS IN HIGH SCHOOL It's true, we love it when you spend quality time on our necks, but we don't want to wear turtlenecks to work for a week. Though we wouldn't mind a few love bites in places no one but the gals in the locker room could see...

LEAVE THE HICKEYS IN HIGH SCHOOL There is nothing to add there. Hickeys are for kids. This kind of sexual exploration is for the grown and sexy, get your grown and sexy moves up, and leave out the baby stuff.

UNDRESS HER SLOWLY Unlike porno actresses, real world women love the agony of anticipation and the torture of teasing. Plus, those nice, lacy bras we wear are not cheap. Rip them and we'll be pissed.

TEAR HIS CLOTHES OFF Show some aggression, slow can be mistaken for frigidity. One of men’s biggest turn-on is his ego. Pretend that you are turned on just by looking at him, or by the idea of having sex with him. So make it seem as if you can’t wait. He’ll return the favor on some nights by you undressing you slowly, and giving it to you just how you like it girl…

NIBBLE HER EARS A classic that still works. But don't stick your tongue straight in -- this isn't an extra orifice. Stick with kisses, nuzzles and licks all over, and don't blow in it, that's just loud and annoying. You're not inflating an air mattress.

PLAY WITH HIS NIPPLES This may be s surprise to some, but a man’s nipples can react the same way to a sensitive touch as a woman. Naturally, not every women react to nipple stimulation, nor do all men, but give it a shot, and that will show him that you’re kinky, without coming across as being just a nasty freak.

SEDUCE HER SPONTANEOUSLY "We were walking home from the bar, and he just scooped me up in his arms, kissed me and carried me the rest of the way home. It was only about 10 yards, but the gesture was there. We had unbelievable sex the second we shut the door," says Elaine, 20. To women, sex and romance are intrinsically linked; don't think of seduction as hard work but as a great way to improve your chances.

LET HIM KNOW IT’S ON IN ADVANCE The anticipation alone will drive him crazy. You need to come up with a special signal that only you two have, such that no one else would know what you’re hinting at regardless of where you are. It can be a double wink, something subtle, yet significant, or even a prolonged stare. “My girl told me about this thing, where if you guys are holding hands in public, then you can just take your thumb and press it in the other person’s palm, and that would mean you want them. It’s quick, subtle, to the point, and no one would know” The anticipation is as much as foreplay for a man, because it gets his mind ready, and he starts to think about what he’s going to do etc…This is also good for you, because by time it happens, he already has a plan, laid out, so it’s nothing nervous and inadequate.

MAKE HER LAUGH At you or with you? It's all the same. Laughter loosens inhibitions during sex. So try tickles, jokes, pillow fights or any fifth-grade tactic (except snapping her bra).

"Mid-act, in a phony Barry White voice, my boyfriend said, `I want to make everything nice for you baby, just like in a Boy z II Men song,' and I just couldn't stop laughing," reveals Erin, 23. "I like nothing better than laughing during sex as long as it's at what he's saying, not what he's doing."

LAUGHT AT HIS CORNY JOKES and pretend that you’re enjoying it. He’s no Dave Chapelle, most likely, but when he tries to be funny before sex, just go with it, just don't go for the Oscar.

Don’t over laugh though, cause it may ridicule the situation. Remember, sex is a sensitive thing for most people, male or female regardless of age. If your partner began to laugh at how your boobs were smaller than his ex, that would not be a turn-on, so don’t laugh at his inadequacies, but rather at his silly humor. If he’s not funny, smile, lightly and tell him he’s cute.

LET HER LEAD ROUND TWO Mr. Woody ready for seconds? Don't plow right in. Take it slow and realize that she may feel tender and need to recover. Instead, enjoy the fact that you just got laid and that, if you warm her up just right, you'll get it again.

DON’T WAIT TOO LONG TO START THE SECOND ROUND It’s been established that guys’ hormone levels, fluctuate during orgasms, and that the energy output has to be accounted for, so they have to relax, and recharged, which is why some of us can’t go for seconds right away, or stay up for too long after.
If you’re interested in going again, make it obvious right away, not by saying it! After he ejaculates, while you’re lying there, play with his genitals; even go down on him, in a not-so-shy way; that will get him up quickly. Plus if it’s soft, try to deep throat that might impress and turn him on. Just don’t be shy about it, you just had round one, so go for it.

BE SMOOTH WITH THE LOVE GLOVE Ah, the condom. Get it out, get it on, and get going. Don't be awkward about it, or she will be, too. Keeping them nearby is a no-brainer, although having a dispenser by your bed will make her wonder. According to the women we surveyed, she'll help you put them on if you want -- anything to keep the mood going. Hey, she doesn't want to wait for a restart either.

[/COLOR]ASSIST WITH THE LOVE GLOVE Most guys don’t like condoms. They claim it kills the sensation, etc…Make it fun for him, by lending a helping hand. That's it ladies, take the condom from him, and as you’re unwrapping it, keep going down on him, or jerk him off with a hand, that will take both minds off the awkwardness of waiting. A quick suggestion for you ladies, condoms are tight, and not as well lubricated as advertised, so while you're helping, if you want to throw in some more saliva, feel free to do so.[/COLOR]

LET THE COWGIRL RIDE We love to climb on top. It's stimulating for us, and you can lie back and enjoy the sex and the view.

But here's what you should know:

She'll get much more stimulation if she leans forward toward you. She'll get much more stimulation if your finger's on the magic button.

She might need to take a break because of leg cramps, so mix it up. If she starts flagging, roll over and take the wheel.

As with any position, her stamina will increase with practice... so practice, practice, practice!

RIDE, DON’T GRIND Ladies, when you are on top, you like to grind a bit on it, that’s all fun and all, but the riding sensation is more both visually, and physically stimulation than just that grinding some of you do, when you’re tired.

Start by going up and down, and when your legs get tired, lean forward, and let him thrust in, while you’re still on top.

STAND AND DELIVER One problem our survey respondents had with stand-up sex is that there's often a difference between your heights. That doesn't make sex of the vertical variety impossible -- it just means you've got to be smarter. Here's how:

Take the stairs. If she's shorter, stand on flat ground and have her stand on the first step.

Then, lift up one of her legs and turn it sideways for easy access. Pick her up.

Stand face-to-face, and bend your knees slightly so you can penetrate her.

Have her wrap her arms and legs around you, and pick her up. If you get tired, lean her up against a wall to help carry the weight.

Buy her a pair of stilettos. There's no better excuse to ask her to sport a sexy pair of high heels in the bedroom.

LET HIM LEAN AGAINST THE WALL Most men can’t really do the stand-up sex routine as well, or as long as they would want to. Some men will lose their erection within instants of picking up their girl, simply because lifting someone else is a bit challenging to some, especially if she weighs a bit more. Keep in mind that the penis is full of blood, and so are the muscles of your arms, and legs, so when you start lifting something heavy, you’re body’s instinctive reaction is going to be to rush the blood to the area in need to allow the muscles to contract, and expand. The result, some of us go limp.

There are alternatives to lifting the girl up if you want to have some sort of stand-up sex. The simplest ones are based around the lean back method. Have your man, lean against the wall, and give him a blowjob, or once again, as he is against the wall, turn around, bend over in front of him, but control the full motion, that is you’re pushing against him.

WINE ME, DINE ME... But why doesn't she want to 69 me?" Lots of guys complain that they don't get their favorite number often enough. Hello! This is because we don't like being squashed or we may feel too exposed on top. It you go at it sideways on the bed instead, both partners can be in control. Let her set the pace. And pay attention to the speed she's going -- it's a good indicator of how she wants you to do it.

HOW ABOUT WE FEED EACHE OTHER… Okay, so you don’t like being squashed…then say so to that “oh not so smooth” person you’re with. Sex is not about victimization; it’s in part about pleasure. And if your concern is that you may feel too exposed, then maybe you should wait till you’re more comfortable with this person to have sex with them. Sex is about giving up your inhibitions, to give yourself over, mind and body, to your partner. If you’re not that comfortable, then find other ways to enjoy each other’s company. By all means, relax…

69, 69, 69…the world’s greatest number! It’s perfect; it’s harmony in sex. It’s one of the only times you will exchange a sexual courtesy in a non-selfish kind of way. You give, you receive, you give, and you receive. Ladies, men love it, why? Simple, because they don’t feel like they’re working, or being bossed around, or even evaluated, and it relaxes both partners, as there is no tendency to check if one’s doing something right, or not. You both just relax and do what you do. If the intensity picks up on one end, then it picks up on the other, making it even more enjoyable. Stop being self-conscious, get on top, it allows you to control, how deep you want the penis to go in your mouth, and enjoy.

BE A G WHIZ The G-spot. Should you choose to accept this mission, slide one or two fingers into her, curving them upward toward her stomach. You'll find a small, spongy area (about the size of a quarter) a third of the way up the vagina's front wall -- this is it. Stroke it, using a gentle, circular motion. What you do with this information is up to you.

WORK THE BRANCHES, THE TRUNK, AND THE ROOTS When you’re going down on us ladies, work all three major part of the organ. Our penis has more than a head, and for those of you who are petite, or working with a bigger than average “pump”, it’s time to suck it up and put in some effort, go the extra mile, gag yourself on it a few times, it shows effort. Your man will take the hint, and return the favor. Girls hate it when a man pushes their head down. It’s not about being disrespectful, it’s because we want more of our penis stimulated, so in goes to the head and every 10-15 strokes or so, try to go deeper on your own, then do it every 5 strokes, then back up to 10-15, switch it up as you go.

Also, if you’re working the head, use the vacuum method, pretend your mouth is the suction tube of a vacuum and suction, but keep it wet though; you do not want to irritate the skin. While you have the head, in your mouth, use your hand to jerk it, then lick the shaft, then suck on our balls, but please don’t squeeze them with your mouth, it feels like we’re getting small kicks in the balls, not exactly what we’re going for. If you follow these instructions ladies, then that tree you just worked on, will germinate its seeds to you in no time.

DO POSTGAME ANALYSIS Find out how to do it even better next time. But avoid "Was that good?" and even worse "Did you...?" Even though you mean well, she may feel like you're putting her on the spot. She'll probably say yes, whether she did or not... until you really annoy her and then she says no. And that just hurts. Use your noggin and ask open-ended questions, such as "What did you like the most?"

[COLOR=RoyalBlue]VOLUNTEER A REVIEW Once in awhile, if it was good for you, just say so. I mean don’t go for an Oscar, but just say, “hey baby, the foreplay was really good, and I really like how much pressure you kept there, or that position was just great” We take a mental note, and next time we send you to 7th heaven sooner, that way we can hang in the clouds a few times before this plane lands. It’s awkward for a guy to ask, and you know that. So help out. If it wasn’t good at all, don’t say you sucked, cause you will kill his confidence, and if you guys happened to be married, then you have a problem. You can clean it up a bit, say things like, “oh baby, you had me going there, next time, take your time with this and that, let me enjoy that”[COLOR=RoyalBlue]

GO EASY ON THE BOOBAGE Don't breast feed, bite, chew (ouch!) or act as if you're tuning a radio. Instead, treat breasts like they're soft serve ice cream cones: Use gentle kisses, caresses, long licks and strokes all over both breasts and take your time. And remember that we're sensitive about our boobs, just as you guys are insecure about your Johnsons, so compliment their beauty, not their size.

TAKE IT EASY ON MINI-ME Ladies, when you’re handling the stick, keep a few things in mind: 1) it’s attached, so don’t yank too hard; 2) it’s hard, and you can injure the erectile tissues, so don’t bend it beyond its range 3) it is not a banana, you don’t have to peel the skin off. I understand, sometimes you want work with a smooth surface, but don’t overdo it. Remember, this is for the grown and sexy, meaning you have to show control, and smoothness all together.

FINISH THE J0B IF she does muster up the courage to say that you've left her hanging, don't mutter, "Better luck next time" as you drift off to dreamland. The game isn't over just because you made a touchdown.

ENJOY THE MONEY SHOT If you hear him moaning, or he begins to twitch, then you know, he’s about to blow. There is no need to dodge rain, it won’t hurt you. Let him know that you don’t want it on your hair, and/or clothes (depending on where you are), and then enjoy. Clothes your eyes, open your mouth and take it like a champ. Remember, you just put on a performance only a professional could muster, you just gave him the best blowjob of his life, you let him enjoy you in his favorite position, you went the extra mile, you were laughing at his corny jokes, you were kissing with tantalizing passion.

You just got yourself one foot in the Hall Of Fame, and now you want to act shy? Naw, not at all! Come on, you have not been inducted yet; you need that jacket to make it official. Enjoy our sperm like a champ. You may not like the taste of it, but don’t get nasty about it. Take it to the face, or let him finish in your mouth, and then swallow it. Let’s face it, it’s mainly protein and DNA, which means that by time it hits your stomach, it’s going to get digested, so who cares, I’m sure you’ve put worst things in your mouth before. Swallowing is the ultimate sign of trust and allegiance, and that’s why we like it, it says, “That’s my girl”

KNOW WHEN TO FOLD 'EM Only 5 percent of the women say that the longer you last, the better. If you've been banging away for 30 minutes, trying to focus on the Expos shoddy relief pitching, odds are, she's not only tired of planning what color to paint that ceiling, but she's also probably getting a little sore.

KNOW WHAT TO TELL HIM Yes, ladies, we also want to hear something after sex, despite what the wanna-be machos/cave men told you in the past. Remember, we read and tried to apply all 21 of your tips, we’re cuddling with you, so don’t just leave it up to us. You know we only have 2-5 minutes, before we fully shut down, so say something to stroke the ego and send us to sleep. Here is an example “Ooh, hmm (light moaning), that was good baby (Don’t overdo it, to an extent we know what we did), thank you, I’m ready for a good night sleep now, good night baby” That’s it. Nothing too great, no presidential speech, or starlet Oscar speech. That’s it, and if he’s half the man, he’s supposed to be ladies, he’ll say, “oh no, thank you to you baby, that was something to be remembered.” If we don’t say something, don’t get mad, simply ask, “hey, how about you, did you enjoy that?” and you should be hearing what you want to hear, and that’s it ladies. That’s the end. Boom, and they lived happily ever after!

Alright, I know that was kinda long, but let me know what ya think about it.
__________________