Mike_McCready

Just wondering what you guys tend to do for first dates. It's a fine line trying to impress. You can go below it, save some cash, and lose face. Or you can go over and look like an idiot who blows billz on a first date. Opinions

Xenogen

I always do a dinner to wow them with my personality and my money, then make it random after that. The worst dates are the planned ones IMO.

PsychoInDenial

easy.. just fuck them on the first date

Whiskers

Because you never know if you will see them again.

And PsychoInDenial, when will you be in NJ?

Xenogen

What a whore

JimmyCarter

Ever see the movie Taxi Driver?

FastAcura

And if she seems like psychoindenial, make sure you wear a rubber.

Xenogen

Yeah...Cybill Shepard

spidey07

I had a pattern.

1st date - meet for cocktails/appetizers during the week. Nice chance to talk and see if there is a spark
2nd date - maybe dinner and an activity
3rd date - something fun then dinner and screwing.

wash, rinse, repeat

PsychoInDenial

I was only kidding... or was I?

FastAcura

Suuuuuure. We know about your hit it and quit it ways.

PsychoInDenial

I'm a bad girl gone good.

youngTL

-I usually like to watch a movie AT HOME. Ask the other person what they like. I tend to pick comedy because it lightens the mood.
-Or if you both like gaming, that's another good option. Let the other person play first if it's one player, but even better if it's two player.
-Spending money is generally a bad idea. If whoever you're with complains about that or has a problem with not spending much money, then they are a gold digger and should be avoided. Expenses should be shared. Or even better, say you go go carting or go on the bumper cars. If they're a similar price, one of you pays for that and the other pays for the food. Or if you do a theatre movie, one of you pays for the show, the other for the food.

Oh and here are some useful tips to improve your initial desireability:

1. Wear a button down shirt and open the collar a couple buttons. This is a sign of vulnerability which puts the other person at ease (subconsciously). If you want to take it up a level, touch your neck (near the base, or just at the top of your chest) occasionally. This is literally "pointing" out a weak spot and showing that you're harmless.

2. Smile a lot and be happy. Cock your head to the side and give the other person a "cute" glance and a smile. Play up any cuteness you have for all it's worth!

3. Wear flattering clothes. If you have a nice ass, show it through slightly more fitted pants (but not to the point of being lewd). If you have a nice upper body, don't wear a huge hoodie. Choose a more fitted shirt. On the other hand, if you're a little chunky, baggier clothes are a must. Chunky guys should wear longer, baggier shirts and baggy jeans or cargos. Chunky girls should NOT wear tight pants that squeeze their thigh fat up over the top! The goal is to try and look classy and hot at the same time, not like a dirty slut from the Maury show ("y'all don't know me! Sit down, sit down!")

4. Keep your body language open. Don't clench your fists or cross your arms. The idea again is to look vulnerable.


Basically it almost doesn't matter what you do on the date. It matters a lot more how you act and how you get perceived.

Mike_McCready

You could write a book on this stuff man!

Also, what's the deal when you end up liking one of your friends (chick I've known for awhile). I mean how do you transition from friends to more without jeopardizing the friendship..?

PsychoInDenial

Oh yeah and don't forget to take a shower before you meet up with the girl. I met up on a date with this guy once at night and he smelled like dirt

Then he tried to hold my hand while at the movies and he literally started me make my hand itch. I tried to be slick and pull it away, but he got all offended and didn't say a word to me after that. I think he was trying to give me fleas. Well that and him telling me about his 20+ collection of tarantulas in his one bedroom apartment wasn't a turnoff enough...

Needless to say this was a prime example where I didn't fuck on the first date!

PsychoInDenial

You can't. I believe there are other threads on this. I have a friend that has had a crush on me for 6 years now. I just ignore it, because I know it would mess up the friendship and also he's too much a pussy for me and would need to seek therapy before I even considered getting together with him.

Mike_McCready

Hahaha, no worries. Hygiene is a big deal to me, I can't stand when people smell. A co-worker of mine (at a grocery store) REFUSES to brush his teeth. I believe it has been over 2 years and he has braces to catch more of the yucky stuff. I swear you can smell his breath 5 feet away. I avoid him at all costs now, a close encounter with him will leave you vomitting in the back room... **sorry if that was too graphic, but that's my life

PsychoInDenial

Dang that sucks. I'm appreciative of all my co-workers that shower and brush their teeth now!

youngTL

That's exactly right. It's way too difficult to make the transition deliberately. The only way to do it is with sexual tension, but that could result in losing the friendship if it goes badly. I guess it's easier for me because a tackle in rugby or football, or a playful wrestling match could end up turning into more if the sexual tension already exists. But I digress. How good of friends are you? That's the first question to ask yourself. The second question is "why hasn't the other party made the first move?"

iTimmy

I always try to be creative, doing a movie, dinner or cocktails is so played out- IMO. Not that I haven't done them, but it seems boring to do that as a first date, nothing memorable. I've done rock climbing, roller skating(its like being a kid again), mini golf, a quiet walk through a park, wander through a furniture store(gives you a sense of her style, and a good chance to hop into bed together!) the list could go on. I guess the main thing is something inexpensive that is fun and get to know each other, being creative often makes up for a cheap date. If you do the furniture store and ice cream- its a winner and will cost less then $10. Be so laid back that you both forget to be nervous and just have a good time and get to know one another to see if you should spend more time together. Don't have a pre-arranged plan, she'll see through it and it will fail any ways, so just roll with the punches.

If your going to do dinner, call ahead and make it special, if you know she likes a certain entre, or dessert make sure they'll have it for her and only her. It really doesn't cost much more and most any decent resturants will be happy to accomodate you and it will make you look like a hero(hero's always get the girl). A nice romantic dinner for two makes a great second date, but will cost some money. Having spent a lot on first dates that go no where, I learned to get a lot of value out of a first date, with out coming across as cheap- if questioned I tell them I am a jew(which is true) and I am always looking for value, but am not cheap.

Keep it simple, fun and light hearted and if there's any chemistry you'll be sure to get a second date.

PsychoInDenial

Now if I could only find quality folks that have some dope ideas like you tireguy. Ever since I've given up my fucking on the first date tactics, it impressive to see guys that actually make a real effort for a date to be fun.

Gives me some hope that there are still some normal guys left out there for the pickin...

Doc.Booty

I like to take my dates to the local porn shops, chicks dig those places.

PsychoInDenial

I took a guy I was dating (not fucking) once to the porn shop, he was cool with it until I turned around and actually bought something!

Totally turned me off, I figured if he can't handle me actually buying toys, he's not going to be able to hang with my whip or handcuffs either...

FastAcura

On your first date?

Is that when you bought your 10 inch dildo? Maybe he got scared.

iTimmy

We are a rare breed, but some guys still take pride in making a girl feel like she is the most important person in the world to them- I guess that in itself is the key to a good first date! Casanova had a good friend who was nearly as infamous as himself, the difference Casanova once wrote was this- he(I don't remember his name) would make his dates feel like they are the most important woman in the world, as where I would make my date feel like she was the most important woman to me Interesting thought!

Its hard to find a balance between being a puss and still showing her that you care- I feel I've gotten quite good at it.

youngTL brings up some great points about style and the basics on first impressions, etc..... Another point is not to take it too far, I wear a lot of gucci, prada, zegna, etc... by flashing that on a first date will attract a date for the wrong reasons. I have a $30k+ watch that I would NEVER dream of wearing on a first date, because its bound to come up in conversation(its a Silberstein, for those who are into watches you understand why it will come up) and every time it has in the past its bad news.... So dress nice and of course show your good features, but don't be too flashy on a first date- remember you want her to know who you are not what you have. That being said woman can sense money, its there 6th sense! Even when I try to act poor, they see right through it- nothing is more intimidating to young woman than a young, good looking guy with money and a promising future, if they're any thing more then gold diggers they always feel they'll never be good enough to fit into that life- so here I sit! As always I digress......

JimmyCarter

I was thinking more along the lines of his first date with her


but

youngTL

Before you say anything, I don't know what you dress like, so I'll make some general points.

They can only sense money because you're acting like you have money. Say you're at a restaurant (if you do the cliche dinner thing). Pick a middle of the road restaurant like Red Lobster or the Olive Garden or something. If you look like you're just arbitrarily ordering whatever you want (because you can, and you know it) she'll see that for what it is. Whereas someone like me will be careful what I order because I'm actually poor (relatively because I'm still in university) and have to watch out how I spend my money.
Another problem is if you live in a giant, glitzy house. If you do, you don't need all that space and it was probably bought to impress, no?
Driving an Acura usually won't scare anyone away. They're nice cars without the snob appeal of the chrome L , the propellers, or the 3-pointed star. Shows you're smart and economical.

Maybe wear some older clothes? Do you own "average" clothes from places like Bootlegger, Old Navy, American Eagle, Roots, etc? Avoid looking preppy. Wear runners skater shoes, or hiking style shoes instead of those stupid square shiny dress shoes from Aldo or wherever. If you wear jeans, don't wear those :ghey: ones that are fake worn. Those are too :ghey: even for me. Dark jeans are good. Cargos are good. Cargo or khaki shorts are good.
As for the rest:

Pleated pants are a

Striped shirts are a

Long sleeved shirts are a unless it's cold. In that case feel free to wear one, but it better not have stripes.

Expensive brand names are a . Instead, wear average brands as mentioned above. No Henry Singer, no le Chateau (especially not!), etc.

Expensive jackets are a . If it's cold enough to wear a jacket, have a functional, mid priced one handy.

Finally, don't act like a princess. If there's some dirt on the ground, don't be afraid to step through it if it's in your path (unless it's a deep mud puddle). I'm not saying you do act like a princess, I'm just saying to avoid doing it if you find yourself being a bit wary of getting your clothes dirty.

nono: DO NOT OVERSTYLE YOUR HAIR!!!
I can't emphasize this enough. Nothing is worse than someone who looks TOO PERFECT. Spend at most a couple minutes on your hair (unless you need a flat iron like I do, then more time is allowed). Give your hair a little style, but don't look contrived. And absolutely DO NOT OVERUSE PRODUCT! Styling gel needs to be used sparingly. There shouldn't be so much in your hair that your scalp is visible and you reflect incoming light with your hair! If you look good in it, one possible option is to wear a cap. This contributes somewhat to the cute look.

If you want to go for the all out attempt at trying to physically appeal (provided you have a nice body), try the semi jock look. Works every time. Shorts, running shoes or skate shoes with no socks or ankle socks, and a nice, somewhat tight and sporty T-shirt or sleeveless T. If you have nice legs she'll see that as a sign of manliness, therefore attractiveness (and you will get other lingering looks too if you're out doing mini golf or something). But this only works if you're on the muscular side. If not go with the jeans look.

The whole point of this is to come across as somewhat rugged and manly, but in a civilized way. This is attractive.

youngTL

Oh yes, and I forgot to mention, AVOID talking about how much you make or what you do for a job if possible. If she asks and must know, be vague. If she keeps probing, she's a gold digger. In that case, far away!

Mike_McCready

Again YoungTL you NEED to write a book on this.

Chinisimo

wow we're having our own queer eye for the straight guy episode here

good advice dude

iTimmy

youngTL- I agree with what your saying. We are at completely different stages in our lives(but not that far apart in age) so we both have different views on the what/how's of dating. Its funny you mention me owning "normal" cloths, because up to a few months ago I didn't! lol I have employed a college going friend to freshen up my look, so now I do have some "normal" cloths. I bought a pair of sneakers, which I liked, but me being a dumb ass bought prada's so I had to buy another "low key" pair to blend in!

Again I do understand(at least I think I do) where your coming from and it sounds like your saying balance is the key- if that is the case then I agree completely. And ambiguity is a must with some subjects until you get to know someone better, I have never told a girl I was dating what I made or even eluded to it- to me that's just bad taste.

I don't own a house at all, yet. I am saving to buy a big oversized house that has more room then I need. I can justify this because, (i) I like nice things and a nice house is the ultimate "nice thing", (ii) houses are GREAT investments and I am a jew and like to make money with everything I do. The mere fact I can live in it, have something nice and make money- you can't lose!

One quick question since you seem very style conscious, I know you said NO long sleeved shirts unless its cold. What do you think of a long sleeve shirt with the sleeves loosely rolled up? I haven't done this in a while but used to a lot, it was a very relaxed fresh look- or at least I thought!

Mike_McCready

This is all fantastic stuff, dont stop now!!

Mike 350Z

Why no striped shirts? Most of the nice polo shirts I have are striped, I have very few solid color shrits

Xenogen

Good god thats too much stuff to read...Just be yourself, otherwise you'll be fucked because you wont be able to keep up the lie.

mclarenf3387

Speak from experience are we???

Xenogen

Well...If you're talking about me cheating on my g\f, No...Im gonna be fucked because Im gonna tell her the truth. If you're talking about my psuedolife on AZ...then Yes...

Mike_McCready

Good luck dude..

Doc.Booty

1) Damn, that's hot. Especially the handcuffs

2)To me that'd be a huge red sign saying "I'D RATHER RIDE THIS $20 PIECE OF PLASTIC THAN YOU!!! YOU AIN'T GETTIN SHIT!" I'd be gone too.

Taking him there after you've swapped tartar sauce is different.

Jaydef03

watching a comedy at home is the best. but it could scare girls off for a first date bc they make think your just going to rape them. haha. well, it depends how well you know them. i wouldnt meet a girl at a bar then invite her over to watch a movie. unless she was a really dumb slut, then it would be different. but if it was someone i wanted to eventually date on the reg., then i would take her out on a weekday for appetizers, cocktails... see how things go, etc.

i hate wasting a saturday nite on a pointless date that doesnt work.

txathlete

Never do a dinner and a movie. That's just stupid for a first date. If dinner sucked, you have to go sit through a 2 hour movie with someone you don't like and if you do like them, you can't talk (b/c that would be rude in a movie theater) to them, meaningfully, for 2 hours. But you can do movie and a dinner...meh, sounds just as lame.

I like to take them to dinner and then dancing, b/c after that magically their panty drops.
If the dinner sucked, at least you can pick up on a chics at the club.