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Old 07-25-2004, 07:56 PM
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Originally Posted by GoDucksCLSPride
Ive cant think of a time where ive ever been just friends with a girl and had zero attraction to her. I think it stems from the simple reality that: girls i find unattractive bore me. End result, i lose the desire to hang out with the girls im not attracted to and the frienship kind of desolves.

In the end, i end up with only friendships with girls that i wouldnt mind hooking up with. I dont plan it that way, its just more fun to hang with a girl that im attracted to so the others just kind of fade away,

yea exactly my thoughts. in short, as you have already seen from like all the posts in this thread... guys wanna bone their friends that are girls hah. nothin else to it. sure, ive got some girl friends who im not attracted to.. but i like never hang out with them and basically only talk to them on aim ya know. dont call em to hang out or initiate conversation as much. i mean i try to be civil and polite and such but its just diff. the degree to which u have an attraction to each friend will vary. buuut more often than not, if presented the chance to bang a girl friend... the guy will pounce on the opportunity. just how it goes i guess. thats really bad now that i think about it but its reality
Old 07-25-2004, 08:30 PM
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Originally Posted by jbpray
om no...i swear..im really not an asshole in real life...lol
This IS REAL LIFE, just electronically...Kinda like the Matrix... ...and she (mermerize) is a REAL WOMAN, so make love to her brain first...what a novel idea...
Old 07-25-2004, 08:32 PM
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Originally Posted by DarkSithCL
This IS REAL LIFE, just electronically...Kinda like the Matrix... ...and she (mermerize) is a REAL WOMAN, so make love to her brain first...what a novel idea...
come on...im just jokin w/her...she lives like 4k miles from me...i just have a way with words....a way that gets me in trouble...
Old 07-25-2004, 08:49 PM
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Originally Posted by 98AcuraCLpimp
come on...im just jokin w/her...she lives like 4k miles from me...i just have a way with words....a way that gets me in trouble...
It's OK...... I have been in major trouble with women, until just recently....Thank God!!!
Old 07-25-2004, 08:53 PM
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Originally Posted by DarkSithCL
It's OK...... I have been in major trouble with women, until just recently....Thank God!!!
glad that your happy...i used to be christian...i was raised christian, but i just don't agree with what all the bible says...just my opinion...i think its great when someone can find peace through religion though...but damn no sex...harsh...more power to ya
Old 07-25-2004, 09:12 PM
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Originally Posted by 98AcuraCLpimp
glad that your happy...i used to be christian...i was raised christian, but i just don't agree with what all the bible says...just my opinion...i think its great when someone can find peace through religion though...but damn no sex...harsh...more power to ya
Thanks so very much...there is usually not many compliments given for living a Christian life ...It is really a blessing...each person has to get an understanding of the Bible for themselves and make a decision on who they will follow...with God at the head of my life and my relationship I can do all things, especially the things that seem so difficlut using only our "human" powers...
Old 07-25-2004, 09:51 PM
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sucks to have fallen into the friends zone when all along you have been trying to get w/ the chick and all your hard work puts you in the friend zone. I think most guys don't mind bein just friends w/ a chick cuz sooner or later...they'll come around.
Old 07-25-2004, 09:52 PM
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Originally Posted by TypeS_boi
sucks to have fallen into the friends zone when all along you have been trying to get w/ the chick and all your hard work puts you in the friend zone. I think most guys don't mind bein just friends w/ a chick cuz sooner or later...they'll come around.
well hopefully anyway...
Old 07-25-2004, 09:58 PM
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one of my good friends (girl), im not attracted to but she has some fine ass friends. well i have approached some of these girls and they all gave me the same reason. "i cant do anything because of kelly (my good friend)" see this girl kelly has like me forever and her friends think that if they get with me she will be mad at them.

well kelly has told them numerous times that she doesnt care, but her friends seem to think she still will and wont do anything.

kind of sucks for me cause i know one of them likes me, but cant cause they dont wanna ruin their friendship.
Old 07-25-2004, 09:58 PM
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F'real, I think having chicks as friends can be beneficial (besides the boning them part) but being out in public at parties or whatever. Chicks dig guys who have "girlfiriends" cuz it shows that this dude must be fun to hang out w/ or whatever. But then again most guys who have many girlfriends as just friends is probably gay. Hehehehe!
Old 07-25-2004, 10:26 PM
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Originally Posted by DarkSithCL
This IS REAL LIFE, just electronically...Kinda like the Matrix... ...and she (mermerize) is a REAL WOMAN, so make love to her brain first...what a novel idea...
oh my... i'm sorry... the thought of all you ACL boys making love to my brain just made me a lil hysterical for a minute...
Old 07-25-2004, 10:34 PM
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Originally Posted by GoDucksCLSPride
Ive cant think of a time where ive ever been just friends with a girl and had zero attraction to her. I think it stems from the simple reality that: girls i find unattractive bore me. End result, i lose the desire to hang out with the girls im not attracted to and the frienship kind of desolves.

In the end, i end up with only friendships with girls that i wouldnt mind hooking up with. I dont plan it that way, its just more fun to hang with a girl that im attracted to so the others just kind of fade away,
yea i see your point there... i kinda find myself doing that (only hangin out with guy friends i'm attracted to) but then i end up feeling guilty and start spending more time with the ones i'm not attracted to, to kinda compensate... so i don't feel like an awful shallow person who only bases friendships on attraction.

now that i just typed that, it sounds really stupid... oh well.
Old 07-25-2004, 10:38 PM
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Originally Posted by mesmerize
yea i see your point there... i kinda find myself doing that (only hangin out with guy friends i'm attracted to) but then i end up feeling guilty and start spending more time with the ones i'm not attracted to, to kinda compensate... so i don't feel like an awful shallow person who only bases friendships on attraction.

now that i just typed that, it sounds really stupid... oh well.

hahahahahahahahahhahaha
Old 07-25-2004, 10:50 PM
  #54  
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Originally Posted by mesmerize
yea i see your point there... i kinda find myself doing that (only hangin out with guy friends i'm attracted to) but then i end up feeling guilty and start spending more time with the ones i'm not attracted to, to kinda compensate... so i don't feel like an awful shallow person who only bases friendships on attraction.

now that i just typed that, it sounds really stupid... oh well.
Haha, cant say i disagree with that last line. Although i guess it kind of shows you have a big heart and want keep everyone happy. So not all bad...

On another note - after hearing all this - where do the guys in your life fit in? Do you think any of these dudes want a 100% platonic only relationship?
Old 07-25-2004, 10:58 PM
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ya, its just hard as hell to hang w/ a girl and not get attached and attracted to her...at least thats me...
Old 07-25-2004, 11:20 PM
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Originally Posted by GoDucksCLSPride
On another note - after hearing all this - where do the guys in your life fit in? Do you think any of these dudes want a 100% platonic only relationship?
well... out of all the guys i've been really good friends with over the past few years, all but two of them have, at some point, let me know that they were interested... obviously, the TWO who haven't are the ones who cause me the most confusion.

they're both guys who i've known for quite a while... met them in school... we hang out, do the whole dinner/movie thing occasionally... but neither one has ever made a move or 'said something' that would make me think they like me as anything other than a friend.

on the other hand, i'm usually verrry clueless about these things, so i really have no idea. another factor is that both of these guys are also prototypical "nice guys" -- very caring and sweet and considerate... this is a big part of why i like them so much, but i think that also stands in the way of anything happening with us... they're too freakin nice to *try* anything with me! damn it.
Old 07-26-2004, 12:01 AM
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they're too freakin nice to *try* anything with me! damn it.
Do you always wait for the guy to make the first move? If you really like these guys, whats stopping you? One of them may be the best thing that ever happened to you, although youll never know till you try.

oh and just a guess as to your next thought. Yes, it may make the friendship uncomfortable if their not interested, but only to the extent that you cant harness your pride. If you can handle the possibility of being rejected, then its all good. Because really, they will be flattered at the very least, if not seriously interested at most. So the worst that could happen is you stay or at best
Old 07-26-2004, 10:34 PM
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Originally Posted by GoDucksCLSPride
Do you always wait for the guy to make the first move? If you really like these guys, whats stopping you? One of them may be the best thing that ever happened to you, although youll never know till you try.

oh and just a guess as to your next thought. Yes, it may make the friendship uncomfortable if their not interested, but only to the extent that you cant harness your pride. If you can handle the possibility of being rejected, then its all good. Because really, they will be flattered at the very least, if not seriously interested at most. So the worst that could happen is you stay or at best
i'd say that i *almost* always wait for the guy to make the first move... unless i know for SURE that he wants something to happen, then i make an exception sometimes.

but in both of those cases that i was talkin about, i've never had a clear indication one way or another... you make a very good point... but i still need a lot of help with that whole "handling the possibility of being rejected" thing.
Old 07-27-2004, 12:06 AM
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Originally Posted by mesmerize
on the other hand, i'm usually verrry clueless about these things, so i really have no idea. another factor is that both of these guys are also prototypical "nice guys" -- very caring and sweet and considerate... this is a big part of why i like them so much, but i think that also stands in the way of anything happening with us... they're too freakin nice to *try* anything with me! damn it.

So are you saying that if these guys tried something you'd be open to it?

Because speaking from experience they probably want to but feel that you would reject their hopes to move the relationship to a romantic level. So they figure just keep it platonic while hoping that some day you will give them a clear sign to try something.

It has happened to me on two occassions where I wanted desperately to try something with a friend chick but never did, and then years later she tells me how she always wondered why I never tried anything because she really wanted me to. Of course by then one or both us were in relationships. Then when we did have a chance to be with each other it was kind of akward because of the anticipation and then things just fizzled and it didn't work out.

If you like the guy just ask him one night, you don't ahve to be all serious. Just say hey have you ever thought about me and you going to the enxt level? Give him a hypothetical like "If I were to tell you that I wanted to maybe date you, make our relationship more romantic than platonic what would you say to that?" Even the most dense guy would take that and run with it if he's interested. And if he's not into you then it was just a hypothetical and you can BS your way out of embarassment
Old 07-27-2004, 12:21 AM
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If you like the guy just ask him one night, you don't ahve to be all serious. Just say hey have you ever thought about me and you going to the enxt level? Give him a hypothetical like "If I were to tell you that I wanted to maybe date you, make our relationship more romantic than platonic what would you say to that?" Even the most dense guy would take that and run with it if he's interested. And if he's not into you then it was just a hypothetical and you can BS your way out of embarassment
props to good advice
Old 07-27-2004, 12:37 AM
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This is the only thread where I have gotten negative points...and quess what....the person didn't fess up ...no name...no comments...just LAME....did I say LAME?....yeah,




















Old 07-27-2004, 01:43 AM
  #62  
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I think that if a guy and a girl hang out with eachother for more than one occasion...the guy has to be attracted to the girl...that or gay.

If you've gone to dinner and movies with these guys a few times...I'd be willing to bet they would be more than happy to see you make a first move. They're probably just really scared of rejection and afraid you'd turn them down.
Old 07-27-2004, 07:19 AM
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I usually become more attracted the longer I'm friends with a girl. But then I'm afraid the whole friends with benefits thing might strain the relationship.
Old 07-27-2004, 07:53 AM
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Originally Posted by mesmerize
i'd say that i *almost* always wait for the guy to make the first move... unless i know for SURE that he wants something to happen, then i make an exception sometimes.

but in both of those cases that i was talkin about, i've never had a clear indication one way or another... you make a very good point... but i still need a lot of help with that whole "handling the possibility of being rejected" thing.
I would say about 99% of guys who do spend a good amount of time with a girl as a friend are open to taking things to the next level in the back of their mind, if not hoping for it, but are scared the girl will not feel the same. So they do nothing. And I do not think you have to be overly concerned with getting rejected very many times.




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