Help me out with some ideas

 

Cook some Chili

 

j/k try

 

dude i wanna be a tester

 

get some Guatemalan insanity peppers grown by mental patients

 

lolz.

http://heimlich.homelinux.net/chili/

 

93%+ ground beef. None of the fatty shit.

And whatever you do, cook it for longer than 6 hours. Cook it on low, stir occasionally. If it gets too watery, add some tomato paste, but not a lot or you'll have concrete.

Veggies; green pepper and onions... Kidney beans too...

Spice it how you like. I like my chili hot, so it's the various hot ausces that can be found. Chili pepper is OK, but get creative... Salsa adds a nice "tang" to the mix... Even brown sugar makes the chili have an almost sweet taste.

 

Play some better players in fantasy football.

 

Heroin.

 

Here's the basics:

1 lb. ground beef
1 16 oz. can kidney beans
1 16 oz. can stewed tomatoes
1 packet chili seasoning

Add to this basic recipe to make it your own.

 

steak chili

 

Alot Of Hot Stuff

 

This thread reminds me of the Chilli Cookoff Joke.............

Chilli Cookoff
Notes from an inexperienced Chili taster named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:

"Recently I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event:


Chilli # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili

JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.


Chilli # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili

JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.


Chilli # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO: A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now, get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all the beer.


Chilli # 4: Bubba's Black Magic

JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burn-out taste buds? Sally, the bar maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills, that 300 lb. bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating. Is chilli an aphrodisiac?


Chilli # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover

JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off? It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!


Chilli # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety

JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally, she must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!


Chilli # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili

JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chilli peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4 inch hole in my stomach.


Chilli # 8: Mount Saint Helen's Chili

JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he would have reacted to a really hot chili?

FRANK: -------------- (editor's note: Judge #3 was unable to report)

 

Instead of ground beef from the grocery store, have a crazy farmer kill Scott Tinnerman's parents and grind them up for the meat.

Also, watch out for pubes in other people's chili.

 

Hormel, Campbells, Bush's, Stag

 

use chunks of steak, not ground beef, that's the ticket.

 

I use Ham in mine also in addition to beef. Adds quite a bit of flavor.

 

Add a few tablespoons of ground Chocolate.

 

chocolate + cayenne is a good combination

 

Oh yeah, it's definitely got to be hot to really get the full benefit of the cocoa...cayenne is a must.

 

www.allrecipes.com

 

I had some chilli at work a guy made and it was awesome. He said it had ground beef, kidney beans, tomato paste, chile peppers, a few diced hobanero peppers, finly diced onions, 1 Miller Lite and 1 pint of Jose Cuervo Tequila. He had it in a crock pot all day and it was a very hot, but sweet chilli. It was the best chili I have ever had.

 

1 Pint of TEQUILA


shocker it was good. Damn that is some chili that will go to your head

 

ground sirlion and brown sugar work great

(as does everything else in scrib's post... I don't care for kidney beans tho'...)

 

I'll ask my dad for his recipe, he's won 2 cook offs w/ it

 

go to the d.c chill cook off from d.c101 there is always really good big bands that play while the taste off is going on. the shut down some of the streets in d.c and hold in in the middle of the road

 

try some exctasy.... serve it with some techno music....

the judges will show you lots of love

 

You need some Habenaro's

 

useless fact time:

Not all peppers are hot. For example, paprika, pimiento and bell peppers are not hot. However, peppers such as chili, jalapeno, and habanero are very hot. These peppers contain caspicin which stimulates the nerve endings in the mouth and makes the brain believe it is experiencing true heat. Eating a hot pepper can also make the eyes water and the nose run, and can induce perspiration.
Pure capsaicin is so hot that if you dilute a single drop in 100,000 drops of water and then sip the water, it will blister your tounge.
To counteract the pain. the brain releases morphinelike endorphines that create a mild euphoria, similar to a runners "high." Because of this peppers can be slightly addicitive.
Another intresting triat of capsaicin is that, unlike ginger or mustard, it can desensitize one to pain if small amounts are eaten repeatedly or if one large amount is eaten all at once. This is why chili lovers can eat progresively hotter peppers and foods
In 1912, Wilber Scoville devised a method of measuring th "hotness" of peppers. Although much more modern methods are used today, the relative hotness is measured in "Scoville Units"

Check this...

a jalapeno pepper is very hot and measures 2,500-5,000 scoville units
the habanero pepper is the hottest pepper on earth with 100,000- 350,000 Scoville Units!!!

the hottest pepper ever tested was a Red Savin habanero grown in 1994. It was an amazing 577,000 Scoville Units


i typed all this for you guys....
excerpt from: "do fish drink water" by Bill Mclain
intresting book tons of facts

 

most definately. I fucking love habeneros, my dad has a few HUGE bushes, real nice to marinade your vodka w/


I also chop them up for my guac and salsa

 

my gf made chilli last nite and consisted of the same things

except she forgot the stewed tomotoes so it was kinda like a chilli sloppy joe

 

I have "How does Aspirin find a headache?" Good book

 

I was just looking through some recipes of mine now that I've gotten home. Some different things to try:

Sofrito
Dark Karo Syrup
Cocoa
Dark Beer/preferably a local brew with some stout