Awesomest Craigslist ad ever a.k.a. Ron A's next ride

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Old 10-15-2011, 01:02 PM
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Awesomest Craigslist ad ever a.k.a. Ron A's next ride

Craigslist Ad Link

http://jalopnik.com/5849236/awesomes...ts-awesomeness

Awesomest Craigslist ad ever for used Skyline spits awesomeness

Every so often, from deep within the bowels of Craiglist's car ads emerges a pitch written above a grade-school level. This one from Vancouver for a 1990 Nissan Skyline embraces the awesome potential of the drift day special it's hawking. We. Approve.

This isn't your normal skyline. This motherfcker is the skyline God would drive if he wasn't busy doing God sh*t like making tsunamis and crap. Its set up to go fast, and go fast sideways. Who doesn't like to get sideway?! Terrorists, thats who. Are you a terrorist? No? Then you need this car.

Handling? This car handles like a junior executive CEO. Go around corners like the devil himself is chasing you, and not give a fck.

Whats that? You like drifting? Well I've got some great god d@mn news for you. This car was a drift project of mine, and the last owner was planning on making it a drift machine too. Interior is for pussies so we got rid of it. Manly as fck. It literally oozes testosterone. So much so that its puddling up in the back.

Seats? this cocks*cker has got two. One for you, and one for the hot @ss broad thats gunna be all upons your dick after you buy this car. You're a girl? Sh*t works both ways. One seat for you, and one seat for that hot @ss dude you've been trying to hook up with for weeks. Deal with it,sh*ts getting serious.

Stereos and AC are for hippies. Fortunately this car has neither. Oh look at me, I like listen to Simon and Garfunkel and think about puppies. F*ck that. The only noises you're gunna be hearing is the ultra manly engine noises coming from this sweet turbocharged, intercooled, 24 valve inline 6. Sh*ts getting real, real f*cking fast.

This car has got a bright orange ebrake handle (b*tches love orange) with a drift button for those super ultra megahellatastic bar room brawler ebrake lockers. F*ck. Yes.

Now, I'll be honest. The wheels are a little lackluster, although everyones gunna be so focused on your super gangster drifting that nobody is going to give a f*ck about your sh*tty stock 16s. Don't worry, I've got you fcking covered. Its like we're in Vietnam and you just got ambushed by Charlie. Don't worry, friend, I've got your fcking back and I blow charlie to kingdom fcking come. For an extra $450 I can throw in some added p*ssy magnets for wheels, just don't come crawling back to me complaining that you're getting TOO much vajayjay. Bright fcking green 18s. Greens not your thing? Super legit silver 18s. Done like dinner.

This car has got 1.5 metric f*ck tons of awesome parts. Bride, Greddy, Brembo, the list doesn't f*cking END. It just keeps going and going, like the energizer bunny on speed.

You like going fast? Ever tried to outrun 24 police cars and 3 helicopters? You need this car. It will go so fcking fast that you may very well go back in time. It happened to me once. Just once, but it was fcking rad. Its like someone took a rocket and opened its mouth and poured steroids down its throat and and threatened to kill its family if it wasn't the fastest motherfcker you've ever driven.

I get it. You're busy, I'm busy, lets not waste time. If you're interested send me a message and I'll get back to you ASAP. You send me a message, I send you one right back. Thats how this works.
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wassystyle (12-19-2013)
Old 10-15-2011, 01:14 PM
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omg thats the best add Ive ever seen posted.
Old 10-15-2011, 01:20 PM
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This is fckin halarious!
Old 10-15-2011, 01:22 PM
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Old 10-15-2011, 02:49 PM
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Old 10-15-2011, 02:54 PM
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1.5 metric tons of awesome parts.
Old 10-15-2011, 03:08 PM
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hahaha O shit you can out run 24 cops and 3 heli. This must be one of those NFS cars.
Old 10-15-2011, 03:28 PM
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i think this is my favorite,

For an extra $450 I can throw in some added p*ssy magnets for wheels, just don't come crawling back to me complaining that you're getting TOO much vajayjay. Bright fcking green 18s

this add makes me want to find the guy and shake his hand
Old 10-15-2011, 04:02 PM
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super ultra megahellatastic
Old 10-15-2011, 04:04 PM
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Awesome
Old 10-15-2011, 04:20 PM
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That's great!
Old 10-15-2011, 04:25 PM
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That was a great read!
Old 10-15-2011, 04:40 PM
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Funny as hell.
Old 10-15-2011, 04:52 PM
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Effing awesome.
Old 10-15-2011, 05:37 PM
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Cool ad, but I don't think it will be Ron A's next ride. Ron A drives either a CTS-V or GT500, depending how the mood strikes him.
Old 10-15-2011, 06:18 PM
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'Its like we're in Vietnam and you just got ambushed by Charlie. Don't worry, friend, I've got your fcking back and I blow charlie to kingdom fcking come."

"It will go so fcking fast that you may very well go back in time. It happened to me once. Just once, but it was fcking rad."

These two lines made me laugh out loud. This ad is classic.
Old 10-15-2011, 06:41 PM
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great ad
Old 10-15-2011, 07:32 PM
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Best. Ad. EVAR.

My wife thinks I'm nuts from all my laughing now.
Old 10-15-2011, 08:09 PM
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Winning!!
Old 10-15-2011, 08:32 PM
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Awesome!
Old 10-15-2011, 08:39 PM
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Hahaha this is so funny, my brother sent this to me earlier today!
Old 10-16-2011, 02:46 AM
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I hate to day it but Ron will you please chime in on this one. I would love to hear your response
Old 10-16-2011, 03:34 AM
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This ad is awesome!
Old 10-16-2011, 07:25 AM
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"Sh*ts getting serious"

That is good stuff. Must read for all PR people.
Old 10-16-2011, 08:02 AM
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Awesome
Old 10-16-2011, 08:31 AM
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Just read it again. still funny as hell!

Somehow, though, I don't think it would make it in the Black Market here.
Old 10-16-2011, 09:02 AM
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You never know...so far it's gotten 100% positive responses.
Old 10-16-2011, 09:48 AM
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I want to see this guy write Obit's for the local newspaper....
Old 10-16-2011, 01:37 PM
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Old 10-16-2011, 08:09 PM
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lmao imagine the seller as a salesmen
Old 10-16-2011, 09:38 PM
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I will hire him to sell my car
Old 10-16-2011, 10:31 PM
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love it
Old 10-17-2011, 03:27 PM
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Best ad ever..... by far


megahellatastic is the best part
Old 10-17-2011, 03:29 PM
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Originally Posted by MJ3
I will hire him to DESCRIBE AND sell my car

Fixed!
Old 10-17-2011, 03:36 PM
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Old 10-17-2011, 08:25 PM
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fucking awesome
Old 10-20-2011, 10:26 AM
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Old 10-20-2011, 10:44 AM
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There is so much win in that ad
Old 10-20-2011, 10:46 AM
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haha... that is fantastic.
Old 10-20-2011, 11:32 AM
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Sh*ts getting real, real f*cking fast.


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