Awesomest Craigslist ad ever a.k.a. Ron A's next ride
#1
In the Mid-South meow
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Awesomest Craigslist ad ever a.k.a. Ron A's next ride
Craigslist Ad Link
http://jalopnik.com/5849236/awesomes...ts-awesomeness
Awesomest Craigslist ad ever for used Skyline spits awesomeness
Every so often, from deep within the bowels of Craiglist's car ads emerges a pitch written above a grade-school level. This one from Vancouver for a 1990 Nissan Skyline embraces the awesome potential of the drift day special it's hawking. We. Approve.
Awesomest Craigslist ad ever for used Skyline spits awesomeness
Every so often, from deep within the bowels of Craiglist's car ads emerges a pitch written above a grade-school level. This one from Vancouver for a 1990 Nissan Skyline embraces the awesome potential of the drift day special it's hawking. We. Approve.
This isn't your normal skyline. This motherfcker is the skyline God would drive if he wasn't busy doing God sh*t like making tsunamis and crap. Its set up to go fast, and go fast sideways. Who doesn't like to get sideway?! Terrorists, thats who. Are you a terrorist? No? Then you need this car.
Handling? This car handles like a junior executive CEO. Go around corners like the devil himself is chasing you, and not give a fck.
Whats that? You like drifting? Well I've got some great god d@mn news for you. This car was a drift project of mine, and the last owner was planning on making it a drift machine too. Interior is for pussies so we got rid of it. Manly as fck. It literally oozes testosterone. So much so that its puddling up in the back.
Seats? this cocks*cker has got two. One for you, and one for the hot @ss broad thats gunna be all upons your dick after you buy this car. You're a girl? Sh*t works both ways. One seat for you, and one seat for that hot @ss dude you've been trying to hook up with for weeks. Deal with it,sh*ts getting serious.
Stereos and AC are for hippies. Fortunately this car has neither. Oh look at me, I like listen to Simon and Garfunkel and think about puppies. F*ck that. The only noises you're gunna be hearing is the ultra manly engine noises coming from this sweet turbocharged, intercooled, 24 valve inline 6. Sh*ts getting real, real f*cking fast.
This car has got a bright orange ebrake handle (b*tches love orange) with a drift button for those super ultra megahellatastic bar room brawler ebrake lockers. F*ck. Yes.
Now, I'll be honest. The wheels are a little lackluster, although everyones gunna be so focused on your super gangster drifting that nobody is going to give a f*ck about your sh*tty stock 16s. Don't worry, I've got you fcking covered. Its like we're in Vietnam and you just got ambushed by Charlie. Don't worry, friend, I've got your fcking back and I blow charlie to kingdom fcking come. For an extra $450 I can throw in some added p*ssy magnets for wheels, just don't come crawling back to me complaining that you're getting TOO much vajayjay. Bright fcking green 18s. Greens not your thing? Super legit silver 18s. Done like dinner.
This car has got 1.5 metric f*ck tons of awesome parts. Bride, Greddy, Brembo, the list doesn't f*cking END. It just keeps going and going, like the energizer bunny on speed.
You like going fast? Ever tried to outrun 24 police cars and 3 helicopters? You need this car. It will go so fcking fast that you may very well go back in time. It happened to me once. Just once, but it was fcking rad. Its like someone took a rocket and opened its mouth and poured steroids down its throat and and threatened to kill its family if it wasn't the fastest motherfcker you've ever driven.
I get it. You're busy, I'm busy, lets not waste time. If you're interested send me a message and I'll get back to you ASAP. You send me a message, I send you one right back. Thats how this works.
Handling? This car handles like a junior executive CEO. Go around corners like the devil himself is chasing you, and not give a fck.
Whats that? You like drifting? Well I've got some great god d@mn news for you. This car was a drift project of mine, and the last owner was planning on making it a drift machine too. Interior is for pussies so we got rid of it. Manly as fck. It literally oozes testosterone. So much so that its puddling up in the back.
Seats? this cocks*cker has got two. One for you, and one for the hot @ss broad thats gunna be all upons your dick after you buy this car. You're a girl? Sh*t works both ways. One seat for you, and one seat for that hot @ss dude you've been trying to hook up with for weeks. Deal with it,sh*ts getting serious.
Stereos and AC are for hippies. Fortunately this car has neither. Oh look at me, I like listen to Simon and Garfunkel and think about puppies. F*ck that. The only noises you're gunna be hearing is the ultra manly engine noises coming from this sweet turbocharged, intercooled, 24 valve inline 6. Sh*ts getting real, real f*cking fast.
This car has got a bright orange ebrake handle (b*tches love orange) with a drift button for those super ultra megahellatastic bar room brawler ebrake lockers. F*ck. Yes.
Now, I'll be honest. The wheels are a little lackluster, although everyones gunna be so focused on your super gangster drifting that nobody is going to give a f*ck about your sh*tty stock 16s. Don't worry, I've got you fcking covered. Its like we're in Vietnam and you just got ambushed by Charlie. Don't worry, friend, I've got your fcking back and I blow charlie to kingdom fcking come. For an extra $450 I can throw in some added p*ssy magnets for wheels, just don't come crawling back to me complaining that you're getting TOO much vajayjay. Bright fcking green 18s. Greens not your thing? Super legit silver 18s. Done like dinner.
This car has got 1.5 metric f*ck tons of awesome parts. Bride, Greddy, Brembo, the list doesn't f*cking END. It just keeps going and going, like the energizer bunny on speed.
You like going fast? Ever tried to outrun 24 police cars and 3 helicopters? You need this car. It will go so fcking fast that you may very well go back in time. It happened to me once. Just once, but it was fcking rad. Its like someone took a rocket and opened its mouth and poured steroids down its throat and and threatened to kill its family if it wasn't the fastest motherfcker you've ever driven.
I get it. You're busy, I'm busy, lets not waste time. If you're interested send me a message and I'll get back to you ASAP. You send me a message, I send you one right back. Thats how this works.
The following users liked this post:
wassystyle (12-19-2013)
#5
I drive a Subata.
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#14
Moderator
iTrader: (3)
Effing awesome.
#15
Cool ad, but I don't think it will be Ron A's next ride. Ron A drives either a CTS-V or GT500, depending how the mood strikes him.
#16
Lt. Gamble
iTrader: (1)
'Its like we're in Vietnam and you just got ambushed by Charlie. Don't worry, friend, I've got your fcking back and I blow charlie to kingdom fcking come."
"It will go so fcking fast that you may very well go back in time. It happened to me once. Just once, but it was fcking rad."
These two lines made me laugh out loud. This ad is classic.
"It will go so fcking fast that you may very well go back in time. It happened to me once. Just once, but it was fcking rad."
These two lines made me laugh out loud. This ad is classic.
#18
Senior Moderator
Best. Ad. EVAR.
My wife thinks I'm nuts from all my laughing now.
My wife thinks I'm nuts from all my laughing now.
#19
AZ Community Team
Join Date: May 2007
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Winning!!
#24
Someday, an RS6 Avant+
"Sh*ts getting serious"
That is good stuff. Must read for all PR people.
That is good stuff. Must read for all PR people.
#26
Senior Moderator
Just read it again. still funny as hell!
Somehow, though, I don't think it would make it in the Black Market here.
Somehow, though, I don't think it would make it in the Black Market here.
#28
Team Owner
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I want to see this guy write Obit's for the local newspaper....
#34
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#37
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#38
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There is so much win in that ad
#40
Team Owner
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Sh*ts getting real, real f*cking fast.