look i know you run the site and all but calling some a homo erectus is a bit out of line.

 

Sorry, I had a moment of realization on the other thread and feel the need to repost it here.

 

no one ever gets my jokes

 

just because no one laughs doesnt mean we dont get your jokes.

 

figured that was coming. i need to make use of the edit feature more often.


edit: or just stop making use of the post feature.

 

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/34118

Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?
October 28, 1998 | Issue 34•13

Look, I'm not a hateful person or anything–I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I've been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock.

Take last Sunday, for instance, when I casually struck up a conversation with this guy in the health-club locker room. Nothing fruity, just a couple of fellas talking about their workout routines while enjoying a nice hot shower. The guy looked like a real man's man, too–big biceps, meaty thighs, thick neck. He didn't seem the least bit gay. At least not until he started sucking my cock, that is.

Where does this queer get the nerve to suck my cock? Did I look gay to him? Was I wearing a pink feather boa without realizing it? I don't recall the phrase, "Suck my cock" entering the conversation, and I don't have a sign around my neck that reads, "Please, You Homosexuals, Suck My Cock."

I've got nothing against homosexuals. Let them be free to do their gay thing in peace, I say. But when they start sucking my cock, then I've got a real problem.

Then there was the time I was hiking through the woods and came across a rugged-looking, blond-haired man in his early 30s. He seemed straight enough to me while we were bathing in that mountain stream, but, before you know it, he's sucking my cock!

What is it with these homos? Can't they control their sexual urges? Aren't there enough gay cocks out there for them to suck on without them having to target normal people like me?

Believe me, I have no interest in getting my cock sucked by some queer. But try telling that to the guy at the beach club. Or the one at the video store. Or the one who catered my wedding. Or any of the countless other homos who've come on to me recently. All of them sucked my cock, and there was nothing I could do to stop them.

I tell you, when a homosexual is sucking your cock, a lot of strange thoughts go through your head: How the hell did this happen? Where did this fairy ever get the idea that I was gay? And where did he get those fantastic boots?

It screws with your head at other times, too. Every time a man passes me on the street, I'm afraid he's going to grab me and drag me off to some bathroom to suck my cock. I've even started to visualize these repulsive cock-sucking episodes during the healthy, heterosexual marital relations I enjoy with my wife–even some that haven't actually happened, like the sweaty, post-game locker-room tryst with Vancouver Canucks forward Mark Messier that I can't seem to stop thinking about.

Things could be worse, I suppose. It could be women trying to suck my cock, which would be adultery and would make me feel tremendously guilty. As it is, I'm just angry and sickened. But believe me, that's enough. I don't know what makes these homosexuals mistake me for a guy who wants his cock sucked, and, frankly, I don't want to know. I just wish there were some way to get them to stop.

I've tried all sorts of things to get them to stop, but it has all been to no avail. A few months back, I started wearing an intimidating-looking black leather thong with menacing metal studs in the hopes that it would frighten those faggots off, but it didn't work. In fact, it only seemed to encourage them. Then, I really started getting rough, slapping them around whenever they were sucking my cock, but that failed, too. Even pulling out of their mouths just before ejaculation and shooting sperm all over their face, neck, chest and hair seemed to have no effect. What do I have to do to get the message across to these swishes?

I swear, if these homosexuals don't take a hint and quit sucking my cock all the time, I'm going to have to resort to drastic measures–like maybe pinning them down to the cement floor of the loading dock with my powerful forearms and working my cock all the way up their butt so they understand loud and clear just how much I disapprove of their unwelcome advances. I mean, you can't get much more direct that that.

 

I figured the thread would be entertaining reading And partially, yes.

I guess I have to accept that i was bi-curious, i wouldn't have done it otherwise. I would consider myself straight. As i said elsewhere this only further enforced the notions that I'm a heterosexual. I won't do it again.

 

 

Not with men. But the ladies? Oh yeah.

 

fixed.

 

Everyone on AZine would go gay for Fabio. He's Fabio!

 

It's college - may as well find out, I guess. Have you told your parents?

 

Intresting,intresting.

 

cliff notes?

 

wstevens?

 

@ the Count

 

pretty sure stevens knows how to spell "interesting" by now.

 

He let a guy suck his cack. Decided that it isn't his bag. Says that at least that item is scratched off the list. Not really wanting to try anything else like that.

 

It's closed minded people like you that really keep this country great. I commend you and all you stand for.

 

 

Wow, I'm not sure if I want to read this or not...

 

gheyest thread ever!

 

<---- waiting for count dracura to take ABreece latest picture and work his animated gif magic with it....



Of course, instead of a dolphin, it should be YoungTL approaching....

 

 

@ the onion article

 

free trial is now over but JJ seems quick with the gifs.

My only comments on this thread are that I could care less who's getting their dick sucked and by whom... but Abreece, are you planning on making this fact known to future girlfriends? I can't imagine it going over all too well with them

Much like the time you got suspended for fighting in the 6th grade, this one's on your permanent record.

 

If the "it's college" excuse is good enough for every chick out there to whore it up 24/7 in college, it's good enough for me.

My dad's dead, so depending on your beliefs, he already knows or will never know. I doubt i'll be telling my mom.

That's pretty much it.

Do you think they'd tell me about that frat party they went to where they got to be the orgy pig? I doubt it.

Depends how close we are. Any girl i get really serious with would be open minded enough to not have a problem with it. That's a requirement of mine which happens to cover situations like this.

 

 

Alright - so who else on here has put their dick in another man's mouth. I know there must be others...

 

The smell of Mens Cool Water turns me on......

 

ABreece dont you find it odd that you keep calling girls whores and now experiencing this?

 

im just wondering if anything else happened...were you just like "thanks for bj, bye"?

 

the Lambchops Playalong song keeps playing in my head but with the word "thread" replacing hte word "song"

 

I want no part of this "trend"

 

Do you honestly expect anyone other than YoungTL to come out of the closet today? I doubt it.

 

 

youngTL, the1beebster come to mind right off the bat...

 

If by "another man's mouth" you mean "glory hole" then I'm guilty. What happened after I put it in said hole, I'm not exactly sure.

 

I realize i'm a hypocrite.

 

Whoa!