I almost had to kill my wife last night..why do some women use emotion to decide.
12-01-2006, 07:21 PM
#161
...
Join Date: Mar 2006
Age: 42
Posts: 14,398
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by LSBoogie
Update: WOO HOO! Really good news for me! The 2nd victim, aka "for sale car", Just got bought. This will cover the deductible for the 1st victim and even a lil Christmas money for the KIDS. WOO HOO!
Now, don't get me wrong, she is still getting the tail light and a good whoopin but it sure will ease some of the stress off of me.
Now, don't get me wrong, she is still getting the tail light and a good whoopin but it sure will ease some of the stress off of me.
So wait, can we assume that your wife will be the 3rd victim after that whoopin?
12-28-2006, 12:52 PM
#164
I don't have a Ferrari in
Originally Posted by LSBoogie
Sorry, I kinda stooopid...whats a Maddux? Can it be cured with penicilin?
http://maddox.xmission.com/
12-28-2006, 01:26 PM
#165
Senior Moderator
iTrader: (1)
Originally Posted by AQUI NO!
where is the update? did the wife like the broken tail light?
if you don't want to divorce her then get her a job being a crash dummy. she will feel right a home
12-29-2006, 04:34 AM
#167
Have you been relegated to following the monkey-in-your-avatar's footsteps?
12-29-2006, 11:01 AM
#169
Mobile on demand Agent
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Houston, TX
Age: 46
Posts: 854
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by Whiskers
They get $100 if they crush yours....
12-30-2006, 09:48 AM
#170
Racer
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Colorado
Age: 49
Posts: 458
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Awww how sweet, you guys actually care..
Ok, story time: Durango is now fixed and doing good. 2nd victim (subaru): I replaced the infamous tail light and sold the vehicle. TL: while scared, made it through my wife using it without any incidents.
I was off a couple of days before Christmas so, as if it were a night ops mission to save the world, I was able to sneakily (sp.) wrap and stash the broken tail light (I just hid it in the trunk of the TL). Our "traditional" Christmas day is spent in the morning opening presents and such at our house and then we head down to her parents house for the rest of the gift giving and what not.
Once we got done at our house it was my job to load up the Durango with the rest of the presents and head down. Perfect opportunity to get the tail light and place it with the rest of the stuff.
We get to her parents and I place it, along with the other gift, under the tree. Present opening time comes and here comes her dad with the video camera. One by one gifts are handed out and one at a time we are to open the gifts. Her family does the whole "From" thing so they know who got them what. When I wrapped the tail light I simply put my wife's fist name on it and left the from section blank.
Sure enough, she get to the tail light. Now, I couldn't have asked for a better set up because due to the fact that there was no "from" listed she began asking, drawing in everyones attention, "Who is this from?". One by one the family members started answering "Its not from me, I didn't use that kinda paper." The whole time her dad is video taping, panning around the room and getting everyones response. Finally, her mom just tells her to "Open the damn thing!"
At this point I'm dyin inside, laughin my fat little head off, she has just managed to make sure that EVERYONE (her mom,dad, lil sister, lil brother, grandmother, grandfather and our kids) is paying attention to what she is opening. She opens it enough to see that its a taillight and immediately looks over at me and exclaims "You are such and asshole!" at this point the whole family is laughing. I have tears rolling down my face I'm laughing so hard.
Then it happens, I had put the tailight in a "Best buy" bag before wrapping it so that the sharp edges didn't cut through the wrapping paper, she had opened it just enough to see what is was, I couldn't believe what I was about to hear. After the laughing had settled, she looks me dead in the eye and says...."So what, now you have to find the people that bought the Subaru and put this taillight on for them?"
I couldn't believe it, dumb founded, I started laughing again, she thought that I had bought her a "new" taillight as a joke and went ahead and sold the Subaru with the busted one!
Sometimes I am amazed that she remembers to breathe....
Anyways, thats my story, was extremely funny and definately worth saving the tail light.
We have been getting simply blasted with snow here lately. Every morning she calls and ask "2wd or 4wd, 4hi or 4lo?". I guess I would rather have her just ask then to assume she knows what she is doing.
It still amazes me that she is truly a smart person (no, really, I mean it) and yet she has no grasp on anything that has to deal with cars, but in her defense, I guess I don't know crap about how the vacuum cleaner works either....
Later guys,
Mark
Ok, story time: Durango is now fixed and doing good. 2nd victim (subaru): I replaced the infamous tail light and sold the vehicle. TL: while scared, made it through my wife using it without any incidents.
I was off a couple of days before Christmas so, as if it were a night ops mission to save the world, I was able to sneakily (sp.) wrap and stash the broken tail light (I just hid it in the trunk of the TL). Our "traditional" Christmas day is spent in the morning opening presents and such at our house and then we head down to her parents house for the rest of the gift giving and what not.
Once we got done at our house it was my job to load up the Durango with the rest of the presents and head down. Perfect opportunity to get the tail light and place it with the rest of the stuff.
We get to her parents and I place it, along with the other gift, under the tree. Present opening time comes and here comes her dad with the video camera. One by one gifts are handed out and one at a time we are to open the gifts. Her family does the whole "From" thing so they know who got them what. When I wrapped the tail light I simply put my wife's fist name on it and left the from section blank.
Sure enough, she get to the tail light. Now, I couldn't have asked for a better set up because due to the fact that there was no "from" listed she began asking, drawing in everyones attention, "Who is this from?". One by one the family members started answering "Its not from me, I didn't use that kinda paper." The whole time her dad is video taping, panning around the room and getting everyones response. Finally, her mom just tells her to "Open the damn thing!"
At this point I'm dyin inside, laughin my fat little head off, she has just managed to make sure that EVERYONE (her mom,dad, lil sister, lil brother, grandmother, grandfather and our kids) is paying attention to what she is opening. She opens it enough to see that its a taillight and immediately looks over at me and exclaims "You are such and asshole!" at this point the whole family is laughing. I have tears rolling down my face I'm laughing so hard.
Then it happens, I had put the tailight in a "Best buy" bag before wrapping it so that the sharp edges didn't cut through the wrapping paper, she had opened it just enough to see what is was, I couldn't believe what I was about to hear. After the laughing had settled, she looks me dead in the eye and says...."So what, now you have to find the people that bought the Subaru and put this taillight on for them?"
I couldn't believe it, dumb founded, I started laughing again, she thought that I had bought her a "new" taillight as a joke and went ahead and sold the Subaru with the busted one!
Sometimes I am amazed that she remembers to breathe....
Anyways, thats my story, was extremely funny and definately worth saving the tail light.
We have been getting simply blasted with snow here lately. Every morning she calls and ask "2wd or 4wd, 4hi or 4lo?". I guess I would rather have her just ask then to assume she knows what she is doing.
It still amazes me that she is truly a smart person (no, really, I mean it) and yet she has no grasp on anything that has to deal with cars, but in her defense, I guess I don't know crap about how the vacuum cleaner works either....
Later guys,
Mark
12-30-2006, 02:32 PM
#171
Senior Moderator
iTrader: (1)
Originally Posted by LSBoogie
Awww how sweet, you guys actually care..
Ok, story time: Durango is now fixed and doing good. 2nd victim (subaru): I replaced the infamous tail light and sold the vehicle. TL: while scared, made it through my wife using it without any incidents.
I was off a couple of days before Christmas so, as if it were a night ops mission to save the world, I was able to sneakily (sp.) wrap and stash the broken tail light (I just hid it in the trunk of the TL). Our "traditional" Christmas day is spent in the morning opening presents and such at our house and then we head down to her parents house for the rest of the gift giving and what not.
Once we got done at our house it was my job to load up the Durango with the rest of the presents and head down. Perfect opportunity to get the tail light and place it with the rest of the stuff.
We get to her parents and I place it, along with the other gift, under the tree. Present opening time comes and here comes her dad with the video camera. One by one gifts are handed out and one at a time we are to open the gifts. Her family does the whole "From" thing so they know who got them what. When I wrapped the tail light I simply put my wife's fist name on it and left the from section blank.
Sure enough, she get to the tail light. Now, I couldn't have asked for a better set up because due to the fact that there was no "from" listed she began asking, drawing in everyones attention, "Who is this from?". One by one the family members started answering "Its not from me, I didn't use that kinda paper." The whole time her dad is video taping, panning around the room and getting everyones response. Finally, her mom just tells her to "Open the damn thing!"
At this point I'm dyin inside, laughin my fat little head off, she has just managed to make sure that EVERYONE (her mom,dad, lil sister, lil brother, grandmother, grandfather and our kids) is paying attention to what she is opening. She opens it enough to see that its a taillight and immediately looks over at me and exclaims "You are such and asshole!" at this point the whole family is laughing. I have tears rolling down my face I'm laughing so hard.
Then it happens, I had put the tailight in a "Best buy" bag before wrapping it so that the sharp edges didn't cut through the wrapping paper, she had opened it just enough to see what is was, I couldn't believe what I was about to hear. After the laughing had settled, she looks me dead in the eye and says...."So what, now you have to find the people that bought the Subaru and put this taillight on for them?"
I couldn't believe it, dumb founded, I started laughing again, she thought that I had bought her a "new" taillight as a joke and went ahead and sold the Subaru with the busted one!
Sometimes I am amazed that she remembers to breathe....
Anyways, thats my story, was extremely funny and definately worth saving the tail light.
We have been getting simply blasted with snow here lately. Every morning she calls and ask "2wd or 4wd, 4hi or 4lo?". I guess I would rather have her just ask then to assume she knows what she is doing.
It still amazes me that she is truly a smart person (no, really, I mean it) and yet she has no grasp on anything that has to deal with cars, but in her defense, I guess I don't know crap about how the vacuum cleaner works either....
Later guys,
Mark
Ok, story time: Durango is now fixed and doing good. 2nd victim (subaru): I replaced the infamous tail light and sold the vehicle. TL: while scared, made it through my wife using it without any incidents.
I was off a couple of days before Christmas so, as if it were a night ops mission to save the world, I was able to sneakily (sp.) wrap and stash the broken tail light (I just hid it in the trunk of the TL). Our "traditional" Christmas day is spent in the morning opening presents and such at our house and then we head down to her parents house for the rest of the gift giving and what not.
Once we got done at our house it was my job to load up the Durango with the rest of the presents and head down. Perfect opportunity to get the tail light and place it with the rest of the stuff.
We get to her parents and I place it, along with the other gift, under the tree. Present opening time comes and here comes her dad with the video camera. One by one gifts are handed out and one at a time we are to open the gifts. Her family does the whole "From" thing so they know who got them what. When I wrapped the tail light I simply put my wife's fist name on it and left the from section blank.
Sure enough, she get to the tail light. Now, I couldn't have asked for a better set up because due to the fact that there was no "from" listed she began asking, drawing in everyones attention, "Who is this from?". One by one the family members started answering "Its not from me, I didn't use that kinda paper." The whole time her dad is video taping, panning around the room and getting everyones response. Finally, her mom just tells her to "Open the damn thing!"
At this point I'm dyin inside, laughin my fat little head off, she has just managed to make sure that EVERYONE (her mom,dad, lil sister, lil brother, grandmother, grandfather and our kids) is paying attention to what she is opening. She opens it enough to see that its a taillight and immediately looks over at me and exclaims "You are such and asshole!" at this point the whole family is laughing. I have tears rolling down my face I'm laughing so hard.
Then it happens, I had put the tailight in a "Best buy" bag before wrapping it so that the sharp edges didn't cut through the wrapping paper, she had opened it just enough to see what is was, I couldn't believe what I was about to hear. After the laughing had settled, she looks me dead in the eye and says...."So what, now you have to find the people that bought the Subaru and put this taillight on for them?"
I couldn't believe it, dumb founded, I started laughing again, she thought that I had bought her a "new" taillight as a joke and went ahead and sold the Subaru with the busted one!
Sometimes I am amazed that she remembers to breathe....
Anyways, thats my story, was extremely funny and definately worth saving the tail light.
We have been getting simply blasted with snow here lately. Every morning she calls and ask "2wd or 4wd, 4hi or 4lo?". I guess I would rather have her just ask then to assume she knows what she is doing.
It still amazes me that she is truly a smart person (no, really, I mean it) and yet she has no grasp on anything that has to deal with cars, but in her defense, I guess I don't know crap about how the vacuum cleaner works either....
Later guys,
Mark
01-02-2007, 02:00 PM
#174
I'm here in spirit...
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: CO
Age: 47
Posts: 7,607
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by LSBoogie
Sometimes I am amazed that she remembers to breathe....
.......We have been getting simply blasted with snow here lately. Every morning she calls and ask "2wd or 4wd, 4hi or 4lo?". I guess I would rather have her just ask then to assume she knows what she is doing.
.......We have been getting simply blasted with snow here lately. Every morning she calls and ask "2wd or 4wd, 4hi or 4lo?". I guess I would rather have her just ask then to assume she knows what she is doing.
I was actually wondering if you just banned her from driving for the last couple of weeks.Does your wife have a twin sister because I'm pretty sure if she does, she's one of my friends.
I'm sorry I missed out on this from the beginning. Good stuff LSBoogie.
01-02-2007, 08:27 PM
#178
Senior Moderator
at this whole thread.....Thanks, LSBoogie, you have made my day as I needed the laugh.
03-28-2007, 06:26 PM
#179
Racer
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Colorado
Age: 49
Posts: 458
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Not to bring an old thread back from the dead but the wife wrecked her truck again.......sigh.....Only got the mirror this time but I swear she thinks I'm an idiot.
Heres how the notification call goes:
Wife: "Hey, you need to look at the Durango, the drivers mirror just fell off?"
Me: "Fell off?? the mirrors don't just fall off? What the hell are you talking about?"
Wife: "Well, ahhh, yeah, it just fell off.....after I hit the garage backing out."
Me: "Great! I'll look at it when I get home."
Wife: "Doesn't look like anything is wrong, the plastic cover just fell off."
Me" "Plastic cover? huh. Oh, nevermind, I'll check it out at home."
So, sure enough I get home and find that she hit the side of the garage opening, knocked the glass out of the mirror which of course cracked after hitting the ground (still useable but is shattered). She didn't happen to notice that the white trim around the garage door opening is now cracked and pulled away from the wall and the outer edge of her black mirror has white contact paint all over it.
So I grab the glass and snap it back into the mirror (mainly wanted to make sure I wouldn't have to buy a whole mirror and that it actually would go back together) and walk back into the house.
Wife: "Did you fix it?"
Me: "Well, the glass is cracked but yes, it went back in."
Wife: "I just don't understand how that happened, all i did was hit the rubber seal around the door, why would it break my mirror like that""
Me: "Oh, so you just hit the rubber, nothing solid?"
Wife: "No, no just the rubber"
Me: "Then why the HELL is the trim around the garage door broken and how the HELL did the white paint get all over the outside of the mirror??"
Wife: "Oh, ahhh, hmmm, ahh, What do you want for dinner?"
Sigh....I swear......
-Mark
Heres how the notification call goes:
Wife: "Hey, you need to look at the Durango, the drivers mirror just fell off?"
Me: "Fell off?? the mirrors don't just fall off? What the hell are you talking about?"
Wife: "Well, ahhh, yeah, it just fell off.....after I hit the garage backing out."
Me: "Great! I'll look at it when I get home."
Wife: "Doesn't look like anything is wrong, the plastic cover just fell off."
Me" "Plastic cover? huh. Oh, nevermind, I'll check it out at home."
So, sure enough I get home and find that she hit the side of the garage opening, knocked the glass out of the mirror which of course cracked after hitting the ground (still useable but is shattered). She didn't happen to notice that the white trim around the garage door opening is now cracked and pulled away from the wall and the outer edge of her black mirror has white contact paint all over it.
So I grab the glass and snap it back into the mirror (mainly wanted to make sure I wouldn't have to buy a whole mirror and that it actually would go back together) and walk back into the house.
Wife: "Did you fix it?"
Me: "Well, the glass is cracked but yes, it went back in."
Wife: "I just don't understand how that happened, all i did was hit the rubber seal around the door, why would it break my mirror like that""
Me: "Oh, so you just hit the rubber, nothing solid?"
Wife: "No, no just the rubber"
Me: "Then why the HELL is the trim around the garage door broken and how the HELL did the white paint get all over the outside of the mirror??"
Wife: "Oh, ahhh, hmmm, ahh, What do you want for dinner?"
Sigh....I swear......
-Mark
Last edited by LSBoogie; 03-28-2007 at 06:28 PM.
03-28-2007, 06:55 PM
#183
Racer
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Colorado
Age: 49
Posts: 458
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by crazymjb
Take away her cellphone privileges.
Get a hold of that video yet?
Mike
Get a hold of that video yet?
Mike
03-28-2007, 06:56 PM
#184
Racer
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Colorado
Age: 49
Posts: 458
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by saiko_cl_duck
You need to :troutslap her.
Look at my sig, it's your quote, and re-decide your future.
I noticed your sig once before and was honored....then I cried
03-28-2007, 06:58 PM
#186
Destroyed... 
I am still looking for the video of when I was doing flips on the bed and went through the wall... "daddy, I bumped the wall"
Mike
I am still looking for the video of when I was doing flips on the bed and went through the wall... "daddy, I bumped the wall"
Mike
Last edited by crazymjb; 03-28-2007 at 07:00 PM. Reason: The family dog was never FIPS I tell you
03-28-2007, 06:59 PM
#187
Racer
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Colorado
Age: 49
Posts: 458
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by crazymjb
Destroyed...
I am still looking for the video of when I was doing fips on the bed and went through the wall... "daddy, I bumped the wall"
Mike
I am still looking for the video of when I was doing fips on the bed and went through the wall... "daddy, I bumped the wall"
Mike
Was Fips the family dog???
03-28-2007, 06:59 PM
#188
This is one of the funniest threads ever, and I think you're funny and all.... and this is pretty harsh.... but I think she's calling you an idiot because YOU married HER.
03-28-2007, 07:12 PM
#193
_____ like a rabbit
Originally Posted by crazymjb
Even if it involves sex I highly doubt they want to eat each others poop.
Mike
Mike
i was just suggesting hate sex...
freak
03-28-2007, 08:13 PM
#199
Racer
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Colorado
Age: 49
Posts: 458
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I don't know if it counts but whenever we play slap and tickle and she says "Ouch!", I drive it in hard again and , in my mind, I deduct a $1.00 from total investments lost due to crashing.....
-Mark
P.S. if I "accidentally" hit her in the pooper I deduct $10.00
-Mark
P.S. if I "accidentally" hit her in the pooper I deduct $10.00
03-28-2007, 08:17 PM
#200
Racer
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Colorado
Age: 49
Posts: 458
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by Eggplant-EX
she needs a more manageable vehicle.... all jokes aside, she may be a danger to herself and others is she is so spacey & matter of fact..