This is Hilarious**NWS**
08-20-2005, 10:41 AM
#403
GÜNnµ ¡Ï
Originally Posted by ludachrisvt
I dont get the smitty one? wtf is that?
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might not be funny, but you do know he is a Funeral Director right? And you see he has a cascket(sp) for his avatar?
okay here goes ....
08-21-2005, 09:56 PM
#424
Originally Posted by Caliadria
Well, I'm a chick, so my mechanics aren't the same as yours... but depending on how long this has been a problem, maybe you should get checked out.
I only say this because I have had a lifetime of problems with my urethra... I was a bedwetter until I was like 12 (and even now, sometimes when I'm SUPER drunk and I pass out before I can use the potty... )
Okay okay it's been over a year since that happened but I'm 25 damn it. BTW the only reason I feel comfortable telling you all this is that I'm married now and I no longer feel the need to withhold embarrassing information about myself on the off chance that it will somehow mess up my chances of finding true love and will instead relegate me to a lifetime of sleeping with my cats in a stinky pee-soaked bed.
Anyway! My point is that I have had several surgeries to correct this "weak urethra" problem of mine and am thus somewhat of an expert on the subject. You need to practice. You know how women do Kegel exercises to strengthen the vag muscles? Well... those work for men as well. Practice holding and pushing out (when you dont' have to pee, preferably) several times a day. I think the general practice is to hold, then push, then hold, etc for three seconds each, ten times each. You don't want to overexert the muscles or then you won't be able to pee at all.
Anyway, strengthening those muscles was not only the key to stopping me from wetting the bed (although the weird electric contraption my dad rigged up to buzz loudly in my ear when it detected the slightest touch of wetness helped, also... I'll have to draw a diagram of that thing, I think), but it will also help you be able to push the pee out all the way.
Basically, you're straining too hard, and making it worse. You gotta relax, and let the pee just flow freely. haha.
Okay I'm done now. Good lord where did i ever get the nerve to post this.
I only say this because I have had a lifetime of problems with my urethra... I was a bedwetter until I was like 12 (and even now, sometimes when I'm SUPER drunk and I pass out before I can use the potty... )
Okay okay it's been over a year since that happened but I'm 25 damn it. BTW the only reason I feel comfortable telling you all this is that I'm married now and I no longer feel the need to withhold embarrassing information about myself on the off chance that it will somehow mess up my chances of finding true love and will instead relegate me to a lifetime of sleeping with my cats in a stinky pee-soaked bed. Anyway! My point is that I have had several surgeries to correct this "weak urethra" problem of mine and am thus somewhat of an expert on the subject. You need to practice.
You know how women do Kegel exercises to strengthen the vag muscles? Well... those work for men as well. Practice holding and pushing out (when you dont' have to pee, preferably) several times a day. I think the general practice is to hold, then push, then hold, etc for three seconds each, ten times each. You don't want to overexert the muscles or then you won't be able to pee at all.Anyway, strengthening those muscles was not only the key to stopping me from wetting the bed (although the weird electric contraption my dad rigged up to buzz loudly in my ear when it detected the slightest touch of wetness helped, also... I'll have to draw a diagram of that thing, I think), but it will also help you be able to push the pee out all the way.
Basically, you're straining too hard, and making it worse. You gotta relax, and let the pee just flow freely. haha.
Okay I'm done now. Good lord where did i ever get the nerve to post this.Last edited by ludachrisvt; 08-21-2005 at 09:58 PM.
08-22-2005, 10:09 AM
#427
'Big Daddy Diggler'
Originally Posted by ludachrisvt
i tried heh
You fucker, that was great...........When i saw my name and then the cousin part, i busted out laughing so damn hard, my boss asked me to take a 10 minute break because i couldnt stop laughing.
08-22-2005, 12:39 PM
#430
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Wait, wait, how come my embarrassing story was reposted in here for all to see and make fun of? 
Everyone else... you either had to be there or you just don't get it. But I got called out just because I peed on someone and was still able to convince him to marry me. Actually, that's kind of a boon in my favor. It's like I'm SO FUCKING GOOD that I can pee on you and you still want me. Yeah, that's it.
Everyone else... you either had to be there or you just don't get it. But I got called out just because I peed on someone and was still able to convince him to marry me. Actually, that's kind of a boon in my favor. It's like I'm SO FUCKING GOOD that I can pee on you and you still want me. Yeah, that's it.
08-22-2005, 01:09 PM
#432
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Originally Posted by Caliadria
Wait, wait, how come my embarrassing story was reposted in here for all to see and make fun of?
Everyone else... you either had to be there or you just don't get it. But I got called out just because I peed on someone and was still able to convince him to marry me. Actually, that's kind of a boon in my favor. It's like I'm SO FUCKING GOOD that I can pee on you and you still want me. Yeah, that's it.
Everyone else... you either had to be there or you just don't get it. But I got called out just because I peed on someone and was still able to convince him to marry me. Actually, that's kind of a boon in my favor. It's like I'm SO FUCKING GOOD that I can pee on you and you still want me. Yeah, that's it.
Hey... at least they didn't make one about you writing letters to that guy in jail
Maybe someone should make one where I write a letter, and pee on it!
08-22-2005, 01:25 PM
#434
In the bizarro world...
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Originally Posted by Caliadria
Wait, wait, how come my embarrassing story was reposted in here for all to see and make fun of?
Everyone else... you either had to be there or you just don't get it. But I got called out just because I peed on someone and was still able to convince him to marry me. Actually, that's kind of a boon in my favor. It's like I'm SO FUCKING GOOD that I can pee on you and you still want me. Yeah, that's it.
Everyone else... you either had to be there or you just don't get it. But I got called out just because I peed on someone and was still able to convince him to marry me. Actually, that's kind of a boon in my favor. It's like I'm SO FUCKING GOOD that I can pee on you and you still want me. Yeah, that's it.
good for you girl!
the crossdress is 
imo
08-22-2005, 06:29 PM
#440
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Originally Posted by JesusJuice
Let's see who has the Cahones to make one about 
or 
without getting teh 
or without getting teh