gto2050

Dayum, I think you might be onto something!

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01 CL-S NightHawk Black/Ebony Bowling Ball Interior

H@mmerm@n

So...OK....our beloved CL is FWD and not as able to get good launches off the from the line at a dead stop as similarly-powered RWD cars. At launch, weight transfers to the rear wheels as the car begins to accelerate from a standstill. For FWD cars, this has the distinct disadvantage of decreasing traction to the front (drive) wheels, which results in poorer launches.

My solution: get two fat chicks (not PHAT chicks) to sit on the front fender/hood, right above the left and right wheel well. Launch the car as normal, but instruct the fat chicks to bounce up just before you launch, so as to time your launch with their downward bounce movement. This should counteract some of the weight transfer to the back of the car, and reduce the slippage on the front wheels, resulting in a better launch. As the car picks up speed out of the launch the fat chicks should roll off the fender wells and bounce harmlessly to the ground.

EricL please confirm the physics.

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Mike
2001 Satin Silver CL-S
Comptech headers, exhaust, sways
AEM CAI (Red)
PIAA 19169 road lamps
Member of NO SCRATCHED RIMS club!

"Never underestimate the power of a dark CLown!" - Darph Bobo

soopa

Maybe we should add a fat chick registry to the site?

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2001 Acura 3.2 CL Type-S
San Marino Red (Navigation)
PIAA 19173 Ion Yellow Fog Lights
Aftermarket Black Wood Trim Kit
Valentine 1

Rod

This may work, but you have to determine the ideal weight of the fat chicks. Too much weight may dent your fenders, let us know when you find out.

frederix

I've seen wheely bar devices on FWD cars that push down and counteract the weight being shifted to the back. There are special suspension setups that do this too.

EricL

It's an open and shut case -- phat chicks on the hood (or wheely bar).




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Silver 2001 CL-S with NAVI

• Mud guards
• Wheel locks
• Toyo T1S 235/45ZR17-97W* Proxies on 17x8" SSR Competition wheels (48lbs less than stock)
• Kevlar/SS Brake lines ordered
• Comptech headers & sways ready
• Silver AEM CAI ready
• 8 coats of Zaino magic

CLpower

The ruduction of et's by the use of wheelie bars is for several reasons. First the longer wheelbase will not allow the front to "unload" under acceleration in any gear. Using a "locked" rear suspension can't duplicate the effect. Front suspensions that allow little or no upward motion still can't do it either. The fact is that anytime you're accelerating, the physics simply dictate that you'll transfer weight rearward. So even if the suspensions don't allow "it", you still lose front grip. The wheelie bars allow you to place the point of rotation over 6' rearward of the rear axle centerline. and that provides a lot of leverage.
If you build some non flexing tube affair and bolt it solidly to the rear of the car and measure the amount of "pressure" that it takes to jack the front up 1 foot, then remove it and jack the front up again using the rear axle c/l as the rear pivot, I think that you'll see the metnod to T.O.O.'S madness.
The et reduction is not simply in the first 60' either. Anytime you can reduce the amount of rolling "friction" between the car and the track, it's like free hp. So the car will benefit all the way down, mph included.
.50 sec is a minimal reduction achieved with a car that was set up to handle well.

[This message has been edited by CLpower (edited 04-26-2001).]

DeLucCL-S

HAHAHAHAHAHA...fat chicks it is!!!! Hey, they had to be good for something, right?

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2001 CL-S
Black/Black
All Stock
Real Fast
Blackwood Dask Kit

CLpower

fat chics will just slow you down though

saabman4ever

After they provide the initial downward motion to provide the traction, they harmlessly roll off. And you're off!

It's actually quite brilliant!



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2001 SAAB 9-3SE HOT

"All things, therefore, that you want men to do to you, you also must likewise do to them."
Matthew 7:12

M5 Lite

How about put a cheap (best engine) GM engine in the car? That should provide enough excess weight to give you better traction.

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'98 Dakar Yellow ///M3
www.BMWExperience.com
Forums are now open at www.BMWExperience.com
0-60 5.53 sec G-Tech

Ashburner

Cheap most powerfull GM engine? Like an LS1 that costs about 10K... Not cheap in my eyes.

aeon

I thought the LS1 or LS4 , orwhatever it is now was all aluminum, don't know how much weight that would add.

tel1sps

You can build an old heavy ass cast iron 350hp sbc motor for less then the price of Comptech headers

Not a good fit for the CLS imho.....

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2001 Silver 3.2CLS
Muds, Spoiler, Hardwire 8500, Polarg M-6 lamps, K&N filter #33-2178,
Comptech Headers, Sways, mufflers
Planning: SSR 17X8 Competition Wheels, Brembo Brakes.

EricL

And a most elegant solution... I can see the dragsters, "going to the mattresses.."


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Silver 2001 CL-S with NAVI

• Mud guards
• Wheel locks
• Toyo T1S 235/45ZR17-97W* Proxies on 17x8" SSR Competition wheels (48lbs less than stock)
• Kevlar/SS Brake lines ordered
• Comptech headers & sways ready
• Silver AEM CAI ready
• 8 coats of Zaino magic

Red Rider

Amazing Mike,i just got my June edition of Motor Trend and they took you up on your idea.The article is entitled "Awesome Fat Chick Comparo".They tested fat chicks on selected German ,Japanese and domestic models and declared a winner.I don't want to spoil the results,but can you say Eva und Helga.

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San Marino Red
Spoiler
Comptech Headers
Comptech Sways

H@mmerm@n

Excellent idea. We could probably grab some pictures from Stangnet posters' girlfriends.

I supposed we must also determine how fat a chick must be in order to be a fat chick? Once we determine this, EricL can calculate the rate of upward...uh..."lift" that a fat chick of a given fatness quotient must initiate in order to provide the necessary "downforce" onto the wheelwell to improve the front wheel traction.

M3's beware!

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Mike
2001 Satin Silver CL-S
Comptech headers, exhaust, sways
AEM CAI (Red)
PIAA 19169 road lamps
Member of NO SCRATCHED RIMS club!

"Never underestimate the power of a dark CLown!" - Darph Bobo

both

I hope no chubby chicks w/CLSs are on this board.

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CLS Blk/Blk, Wife ripping off

Rod

Now that the launching topic was brought up, do you think the springs you use will make any difference. For example, comparing the Pro-Kit with the Comptechs, I'm guessing the Comptechs have greater travel in the rear because of the raked stance, how would this affect your times?

amembrane

This was my idea to improve my friend's miata's launches. I was gonna wrap myself in bubblewrap, and when his tires were squealing, I'd jump on his trunk and hold onto his hardtop mounts, then I'd just roll off in the first turn.


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97 2.2CL Premium - Black
Cleared bumpers, int / ext lights
'87 CRX Si Shift Knob =>

nootch

A wise man once said "fat chicks are fun to ride till you get caught on one..."



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Please have a crane drop on my car so I have to buy a new CL-S. But wait till I'm not in the car. Thanks

CLpower

going back and thinking about this. My dad did have a buddy w/ a GNX that couldn't get traction so he built a solid steel gas tank. It seemed to help alot

Al Uminum

Yes the problem for FWD and takeoff might be mitigated by weight/blubber on the front fender area. The problem is this. The tremendous inertia of the objects (fat chicks) can cause them to loosen from the fender area, which then might cause them to fall into the warmed patch of roadway in which the tires must travel. Not good as the constituency of blubber, as you know, is oily, thus decreasing maximum grip.

The obvious solution for FWD takeoff is to mash it with the car facing backwards and in reverse. (True some changes on the reverse gearing will be necessary). Yes getting great lauches while facing backwards will put the inertia over the front (now rear) wheels. Also, having only one fat chick over the front (now rear) traction wheel will help with grip yet cut down on dead weight of two chicks. Also should the object fall off the effects of blubber on the roadway will be minimal as the oily patch will be behind the car.

Look it up.