I hate Seagulls (Rant!)
05-25-2004, 02:33 AM
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I hate Seagulls (Rant!)
driving to work this morning and whilst in traffic out of the wild blue yonder, bandits a 12 o Clock !
The offender then dived and released it bombs causing a splat across my bonnet and windscreen.....yuk !
trouble is we are pratically surrounded by water and these damn thing are everywhere.
I hate seagulls !
Ernie
The offender then dived and released it bombs causing a splat across my bonnet and windscreen.....yuk !
trouble is we are pratically surrounded by water and these damn thing are everywhere.
I hate seagulls !
Ernie
05-25-2004, 07:35 AM
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Yupe, seagulls can have my vote for the most disgusting bird poops ever.
They eat pretty much everything, and that's why their poops come in a variety of colours and textures. Most noticeably, the seagull poop is wet, but not entirely homogenously wet. It has this yellowish liquid surrounding the greenish grey paste. Such seemingly diarrhetic poop contains many types of enhancers ranging from seasonal fruit seeds, semi-digested worms, small fish fins, and occasionally, human fingers.
The structure of seagull poop is so well-evolved in providing the highest durability and most problematic complexion against today's automobile paint. When it lands on the car, the yellowish liquid first smooths into a tenuous film, thin yet extremely adhensive, providing a strong ancher for the core paste which requires more time to dry. Upon drying, the core paste doesn't shrink as much as other type of bird bombs; thanks to the high concentration of mucous, the core paste is resilient to crack. Such advantageous characteristic results in a dramatic look, increases overall drag coefficient, and rendering the car more vulnerable to more bombing.
"Solutions are in dire need", worried by most industry CEOs. Today's automobile manufacturers have yet to come up a preventative advice against bird bombs. Rumors hint that a semi-automatic, satellite-guided BB gun, which can be integrated with NAVI and shares the similar platform with anti-missile machine guns found on Navy battle cruisers and carriers, is under trial stage. Meanwhile, biochemists like me is working on developing a strain of avian influenza, which targets specifically bird anal tract, triggers acute inflammation, and theoretically seals off bird butt holes.
Damn I have too much time on my hand...
They eat pretty much everything, and that's why their poops come in a variety of colours and textures. Most noticeably, the seagull poop is wet, but not entirely homogenously wet. It has this yellowish liquid surrounding the greenish grey paste. Such seemingly diarrhetic poop contains many types of enhancers ranging from seasonal fruit seeds, semi-digested worms, small fish fins, and occasionally, human fingers.
The structure of seagull poop is so well-evolved in providing the highest durability and most problematic complexion against today's automobile paint. When it lands on the car, the yellowish liquid first smooths into a tenuous film, thin yet extremely adhensive, providing a strong ancher for the core paste which requires more time to dry. Upon drying, the core paste doesn't shrink as much as other type of bird bombs; thanks to the high concentration of mucous, the core paste is resilient to crack. Such advantageous characteristic results in a dramatic look, increases overall drag coefficient, and rendering the car more vulnerable to more bombing.
"Solutions are in dire need", worried by most industry CEOs. Today's automobile manufacturers have yet to come up a preventative advice against bird bombs. Rumors hint that a semi-automatic, satellite-guided BB gun, which can be integrated with NAVI and shares the similar platform with anti-missile machine guns found on Navy battle cruisers and carriers, is under trial stage. Meanwhile, biochemists like me is working on developing a strain of avian influenza, which targets specifically bird anal tract, triggers acute inflammation, and theoretically seals off bird butt holes.
Damn I have too much time on my hand...
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05-25-2004, 03:02 PM
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Photography Nerd
From the NY times: http://www.nydailynews.com/front/sto...p-169888c.html
Cyndi's airborne critic
Somewhere over Massachusetts is a sparrow who apparently doesn't care for '80s rock.
Cyndi Lauper was reaching for a high note during her opening number at Saturday's KISS-108-sponsored concert in Mansfield, Mass., when from the sky came a white glob of bird poop.
The fecal critique landed in her open mouth.
Showing more aplomb than Tippi Hedren ever displayed in "The Birds," the Brooklyn-born rocker wiped her tongue on her sleeve and kept on rockin'.
The 50-year-old singer did kvetch backstage that a bird once plopped on her head while she was on stage.
"My grandmother says it's good luck, but I think it's disgusting," she moaned.
Maybe birds just want to have fun.
Somewhere over Massachusetts is a sparrow who apparently doesn't care for '80s rock.
Cyndi Lauper was reaching for a high note during her opening number at Saturday's KISS-108-sponsored concert in Mansfield, Mass., when from the sky came a white glob of bird poop.
The fecal critique landed in her open mouth.
Showing more aplomb than Tippi Hedren ever displayed in "The Birds," the Brooklyn-born rocker wiped her tongue on her sleeve and kept on rockin'.
The 50-year-old singer did kvetch backstage that a bird once plopped on her head while she was on stage.
"My grandmother says it's good luck, but I think it's disgusting," she moaned.
Maybe birds just want to have fun.
05-25-2004, 03:37 PM
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Originally posted by Dan Martin
From the NY times: http://www.nydailynews.com/front/sto...p-169888c.html
From the NY times: http://www.nydailynews.com/front/sto...p-169888c.html
how you found this article?
05-25-2004, 04:03 PM
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i'm pretty sure i have the worst seagull story...
so i was driving on the highway, going about 70mph, this is when i still had my jetta. in the distance i see two white birds going lower and closer to the road, heading straight for me. i swerved to avoid a windshield collision, however, it knocked off my passenger side mirror. the mirror slammed into my door scratching it up, and the glass shattered and the housing was broken. the bird also left a white imprint on the housing, sad...I'm pretty sure the bird didn't make it. the seagull cost me about $200. damn birds!!!
so i was driving on the highway, going about 70mph, this is when i still had my jetta. in the distance i see two white birds going lower and closer to the road, heading straight for me. i swerved to avoid a windshield collision, however, it knocked off my passenger side mirror. the mirror slammed into my door scratching it up, and the glass shattered and the housing was broken. the bird also left a white imprint on the housing, sad...I'm pretty sure the bird didn't make it. the seagull cost me about $200. damn birds!!!
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