imj0257

iTrader: (1)

Not sure when exactly I will pop the question, but I know she's the one and need to put it on lockdown.. so somtime in the 'near' future.

Although I have a small idea of what she likes, she is rather picky and rather than going out myself and probably picking something she won't like, I want us to go together to pick out her engagement ring (more and more common these days).

When a man does all the ring stuff himself, he can pop the question out of nowhere which makes it a true surprise. If we get the ring together, well.. there really is no surprise.

So I guess my question is, what would be a good idea to ask her to marry me without a ring? I figure, she is marrying me, not the ring (although she definitely wants one) and she knows I have a sarcastic sense of humor. Maybe put a ringpop and an IOU note inside a real ring box? Bad idea? lol. I can't go pick out the ring with her and then a month or two later ask her cus she know's it's coming, obviously.

Any help would be appreciated

Oh yea.. I'm new and very inexperienced in this stuff, as you can tell.

1killercls

Oh christ.

imj0257

iTrader: (1)

NBP04TL4ME

I don't thing christ is going to buy her a ring -

OP - do you have any hobbies / themes that you both share? Something you both like to do or place to go? Maybe play a ring theme off of that??

doopstr

First give her a purse and see what happens.

Will Y.

I didn't ask my girl about the engagement ring-- I just got one made that seemed nice and had a classic look (diamond solitaire on white gold band). If you know that she likes a certain type of cut or stone, you can get that.
However, I don't think she is going to object unless you got it out of a Cracker Jack box-- she will love the ring if it came from you in a surprise proposal.
If she doesn't like the ring and demands a different style, grab the ring back and immediately, 'cause she ain't the one!

BTW, my wife and I then went afterwards to look at wedding rings together.



Not a good idea unless she has a zany sense of humor-- and most women don't about their own wedding rings.

Good luck!

04WDPSeDaN

iTrader: (1)

Here's my honest suggestion.

I would go together and pick out a ring she likes. Just a price range you're comfortable with. This will work in both favors. If you don't want to buy something in front of her, at least you have an idea of what she likes.. Next thing to worry about is proposing. It's going to be on her mind of when will it happen. Keep in mind that there's always someone asking her "How did he propose!?" "OMG, let me see that ring!!" So in a sense you want to memorable and done right. Having a photographer there to capture the proposal is also an idea. I did it, and indeed worth it. I know some can get carried away and want a massive ring on their hand which will put you in a financial stress (unless you're balling and DGAF) but, the biggest ring and huge wedding doesn't make the marriage what it is. You love each other for each other, not for the idea of what people are going to say if you buy her a small ring or have a back yard wedding.

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

"Don't do it" -Whiskers

cM3go

Do you two ever talk about it? Does she ever say what kind of ring that she wants? Do you trust any of her girlfriends/sisters/etc? Perhaps they can plant a seed to get the information for you.

I'm all for surprise, there's a lot lost in a proposal if you can't surprise the girl. Besides, if she loves you and you get something close to what she's looking for, she won't be one to "upgrade later". If she is, you don't want that kind of woman.

iSeeYouTwo

oo7spy

Not true.

Awful, terrible, horrible idea.


First, she doesn't have to know you are buying her an engagement ring. Take her to a jewelry store and look around. Even if she has a feeling that you are going to propose, don't buy it around her. Let her look, listen to her feedback, and come back later alone.

Second, even if she knows you have the ring in your back pocket, she doesn't have to know when you are going to do it. If she knows you have the ring, you can sandbag and drag it out until she least expects it, and she won't leave you. If she doesn't know you actually bought one, then it's a surprise.

This comes from personal experience, and obviously, YMMV. I had this grand plan to buy a loose diamond, and get it set by a local jeweler. Then I brought up the idea of getting married with my wife, and her opinions were WAY different than mine. So, I took her to a jewelry store and we looked around. What she chose was so much different than what I thought she would like, I was a bit embarrassed. I paid for the one she picked while she was looking around and picked it up later. (Happened to walk in on a random discount day and didn't have much choice to get that price later.) She knew I had the ring, but she was completely surprised when I proposed to her.

To me, the idea of a complete surprise is unrealistic and too "Hollywood". Does it happen? Sure. Can it be meaningful? Of course. But it can also back fire, and while the memory of the proposal can be important, she will look at the ring on her finger EVERY SINGLE DAY, hopefully for the rest of her life. Don't fuck that part up.

Lastly, a complete surprise can backfire.

imj0257

iTrader: (1)

Well my gf has been talking about it for some time now.. 'well if and when we ever get married' etc. So she definitely wouldn't say no.

oo7spy

Good. The really funny thing about that video (or really sad thing) is she told him later that she said, "no," because his peter was too small.



UnHung Hero (2013) - IMDb

mrstak

iTrader: (1)

do you know her friends? have her friends find out what she likes in a ring and tell you. make sure her friends aren't dumbasses and go "so your bf wanted me to find out what kind of ring you like". use that info to buy a ring and plan a proposal afterwards.

i had our mutual friend give me all the details of what she wanted in a ring. i added a slight change to the design to make it better (imo and which she later agreed). planned the proposal, popped the question and here's how i know she loves...she said yes without even looking at the ring. easy peasy.

imj0257

iTrader: (1)

She actually doesn't keep in touch with many friends since they all got married and had kids long ago. The friends she does still keep in touch with I've only met a couple of times and don't know them too well.

If anything, I could go to her mom...

oo7spy

Her mom seems risky to me.

Whiskers

God no.

Mr. Maker

iTrader: (4)

Mr. Maker

iTrader: (4)

Go to the mall and as you're passing a store do the whole, 'if I was getting married I'd like a ring like this game'.

Edit; Don't do it..

Mr. Maker

iTrader: (4)

And we need pics to gain our approval..

Rapture

Hmm... pics don't seem to be showing up. Maybe something wrong with my browser

In all serious I would just use your best judgement. Good looking rings are pretty much universal, right? Is she really going to NOT want to marry you if you get something less than 100% desirable to her (as you put it) picky tastes?

sasha

If she's so picky and you can't get any ideas from a best friend or her mom, pass by a jewelry store when you go to the mall one day and look around. Start with the earrings section so that it's not too obvious then head to the ring section. Mention that you prefer, let's say,"white gold" (or platinum) over "yellow gold" when it comes to rings. Then ask what's her preference and what she likes when it comes to the shape of stone (or if she'd rather have a sapphire instead of a diamond).

1killercls

End yourself.

imj0257

iTrader: (1)

^full of great advice..

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

BoricuaTL

iTrader: (1)

just went through this last year.

you kinda need a bit of an input as to what her likes/style is. either the color of the band and the cut of the stone. she's gonna love the ring regardless, but its nice to be able to surprise her with her favorite type.

my fiancé and I dated for a couple years before the marriage talk began. casually shopping at the mall a few times I walked into the jewelry store and ask what she liked. I let a year go by before I popped the question. I designed the ring myself based on the style she liked. took time to pick out an amazing stone after a lot of research and comparison.

as for the proposal. do something different. something new. something unexpected. it was our anniversary and we had never had a picnic so I planned that as the anniversary date. hired a photographer months in advance and put my plan in place. she loved every detail of the surprise and all the work I put in to make it happen. and the ring was just the perfect icing on the cake

good luck.

PS. if she sets a budget for what she wants, its something to reconsider. a good friend of mine brought the topic up to his girlfriend of 5 years and she told him exactly what she wanted off the back. the color the style the size and the PRICE of the ring because she preferred a bigger ring and no wedding. he went for it. I wouldn't have.

Mr. Maker

iTrader: (4)

pics

oo7spy

My wife told me if I spent as much as I was thinking, she would kill me.

1Louder

If you want to make popping the question a surprise, I'd recommend this. FWIW, my wife also had very specific ideas about both the first ring and her 25 year anniversary ring, and we shopped together on both occasions and it worked out great.

However my advice would be to make shopping for the ring an "event" - and also make the fact you are going ring shopping the surprise.

Plan a long date with her - but be vague about the specifics. Or create some false plan to throw her off. Start around lunch time, and go ahead and ask her in whatever way you think would be surprising and fun. Next, go straight from there and surprise her with ring shopping. It's part of the "date". Maybe plan it so you are near by several locations that she likes - basically let her go shopping and pick what she wants. After, keep the date going - go out to dinner somewhere nice, and you know, end the date appropriately.

So I think if you make the whole thing one long event, it will be both surprising and very memorable. I didn't do the full "date" thing the first time (we just went shopping), but I surprised her the second time by going out on a date that turned into ring shopping, and she absolutely loved it. Still talks about it.

BoricuaTL

iTrader: (1)

yes my fiancé felt the same way. she doesn't know how much exactly it was but knows it was higher than she thought I would spend lol

Majofo

unhung hero.. wtf.. is that for real? poor guy.. what a bitch.

Ian.. ffs man. If she's into rings.. you better have one ready. Trick is getting her size and finding out what she likes. It doesn't have to be perfect, plus if she's the right one, the ring is the gesture. She'll say yes regardless. But don't get cheap.

If you're really good.. you'll get her into a mindset that rings and weddings are a bullshit expense.

oo7spy

Seemed real to me. The movie never stated his size, but I would guess it was in the 4-5" range from his conversations with various people. Best advice of the movie came from an older "sex teacher" lady who told him to advertise himself as "perfect for anal" or something like that.

NSXNEXT

iTrader: (2)

Go with her and let her pick out what she wants (within a budget that you both agree to). She has to wear for the rest of her life.

I had the jeweler call and tell us the ring wouldn't be ready for x weeks but it was really done in half the time. I was able to still surprise her and she loves the ring she got. Exactly what she wanted.

Majofo

I don't like the go ring shopping with your girl, let her pick it option.. maybe I'm just old school.

oo7spy

I didn't realize the OP was marrying you...


Ian, I'm with Whiskers. Don't do it.

Majofo

dat 4 inches tho..

btw.. how is it good for anal if that fool can't get past the cheeks?

#flatass

imj0257

iTrader: (1)

pff.

I've been doing a ton of searching online. Omfg so much stuff to look at and think about and take in.

1killercls

31 and this confused? You don't need to be married. You still have some growing up to do. IMO.

imj0257

iTrader: (1)

^ I won't argue with that.

imj0257

iTrader: (1)

Just picked up the finished ring.. beautiful. Found a custom jeweler with wholesale prices, thanks to a friend.

And I know how I'm gonna do it. Just a matter of when...