RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

1Louder

So when people say she's too young, ask them why they think that. See if they have anything more to say than "she's 17". If you force them to think about it, they might find they don't really have a good reason.

3 years at your age is actually a bigger deal just because of the rapid changes and growth going on. Even if she's a mature 17, you both will be changing a lot in the next 3-5 years. I think if you both recognize that fact and deal with it, you'll be fine. I met my wife at 20 and she was 18. But, we grew together as we were sharing a similar life experience.

Anyway, your ages are going to get questions for a while for two reasons: one is from people who are older and recognize you two are in that stage of your life when things can change - they know if you don't change together you'll grow apart. Second are those that think all 17 year olds are immature. You should expect it, so don't let it frustrate you. Your relationship is between you and her.

litesout

She satisfies the half plus seven rule so it shouldn't be an issue

I'm kidding! Seriously though, I think people give you a hard time because she's a minor. If she was 18, they probably wouldn't say anything. She sounds like a nice gal, and it sounds like the two of you get along well and have some similar interests as well as a long time friendship. The foundation is strong so the potential is there to build a long lasting relationship. Like many others have said, the number doesn't mean much. Its the level of maturity that matters. When I was 22 I dated a 19 year old. She was one of the most self centered and immature people I have ever met. The relationship ended with me telling her that I knew she was cheating on me and that she needed to learn how to treat people (she was very abusive, verbally, mentally and physically.) Sadly that didn't seem to bother her that much. What did bother her was that I also told her I had found somebody else who was hotter than her. That should tell you something.

But the other girl (who I had only just met and was just talking to when I saw her around work) was the same age. She was polar opposite. We treated each other very well, and we talked and talked and talked into the wee hours of the night every night.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, as long as you're compatible and willing to work through her being in college and not having time for you and vice versa, you'll be alright.

subinf

I'm the exact other way around - g/f is 32 I just turned 26

SwervinCL

If you are happy, who cares what everyone thinks.

I think the biggest problem that you are going to run into (may or may not apply because I do not know you or nothing about you) will be when you turn 21 and she is 18. You may want to go out to the bars or whatever and she will not be able to go, which will put strain on your relationship. When you two go out, you will be subject to (what I call) pg-13 nights. Which you may be ok with, again. I do not know you.

If you are not the type to go out to the bars with your buddies, or whatever. Then you have nothing to worry about. As long as your both are happy, who cares.

Infamous425

i dont see anything wrong with it. only problem you have is that dumb and dumber haircut but as long as she's cool with it

BraveDemon

3 years is not a big age difference... I think people are just more fixated on the fact that she's underage...

BoBByLiGhT83

iTrader: (1)

CLtotheTL32

iTrader: (3)

Thanks for the comments everybody, except about that one saying I look like a creeper and also my haircut haha. Hopefully those were supposed to be in red text

It sounds like I'm not the only one in a relationship that has a age difference of a few years. I'm not really the go out and get hammered type, so I don't see jealously or anything like that being an issue. And when I turn 21, she can always come to the bar with me, she just has to get a water or something else haha We both know that we can't be around each other 24/7, so we go out with our friends whenever we want, we just tell each other when and with who. It may sound weird, but we have a very open relationship and have nothing to hide.

And her and I are going through a lot right now anyways, despite our age. I'm struggling to make ends meet for bills and school is kicking my ass. I'm still trying to figure out what I want to major in and getting in the right classes to get that done. She's trying to get into a good school so she's devoting a lot of her time to studying and activities after school such as student council and such. I know that we both have a lot coming at us in the years ahead, but we are happy nonetheless and like having somebody there for each other when we need them.

And people never realize that I actually thought about the age difference before I asked her out. It was a big issue for me at the time, but I looked past it and looked at the person. We make each other really happy and have a blast at the same time, so I put the age difference behind me.

Do I sometimes wish she was older so it wouldn't be an issue? Of course. But would I get rid of her for another older girl? No way in hell

bugeye

Sounds like you care too much what other people think.

Life's too short to spend time worrying about other peoples' opinions. If you're happy, that's all the answer you should need.

P.S. My boyfriend is almost 3 years younger than me, too.

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

My head hurts from all the thinking YOU are doing on this.

My wife is older than I am. And I have dated women that were younger than I am. Age is just a number. What matters is how compatible and how mature you both are. If I stopped and thought about the fact that my wife is 7 years older and when I turn 40, she would be 47 or other crap like that, I would have missed out on the BEST thing that ever happened to me.

You are over analyzing this. And trust me when I say, it's not worth over analyzing. Just enjoy the relationship. You also need to stop listening to people that give you shit about it.

CLtotheTL32

iTrader: (3)

^Yall are right. I do think too much about it. It's just that sadly I've lost quite a few friends over the last year or so because of the relationship. I guess they really weren't friends if they stopped talking to me just because of it

RMATIC09

It's diff. when older girls date younger guys.

They just do that to prove that they "still got it" and can pull young-tail...more of an ego boost than anything else...


I kid...I kid....

CLtotheTL32

iTrader: (3)

^

bugeye

Give me some credit, I'm not that shallow....

I'm with him cause he has a huge penis and is great in the sack, obviously.

KaMLuNg

iTrader: (5)

my best friend from HS is dating a girl 9 yrs younger than him... look at my age and do the math... at first i was like dood wtf is wrong with you... then i realized that he hasn't really grown up and i have met her... she totally doesn't look or act her age...

i personally go for the older women though...

1Louder

My bet is they were bent over the fact you were spending time with her and not them, not her age. It's not like she was preventing you from all going out to a bar or something. But you are right - they are not friends worth keeping if that's how they felt. In fact, any good friend should be happy that you are happy.

I'm with Raven - less thinking, more enjoying. Any issue someone has with her age will go away next year when you both are in college. No one bats an eye over two college kids dating.

Good luck with your studies - hey, start a new thread on your career decisons and we'll give you a bunch of useless advice. :wink:.

CLtotheTL32

iTrader: (3)

Actually I was doing really well on balancing time with my friends and time with my girlfriend. All of a sudden, about a month after we got together, they would never return texts or calls. When I ended up talking to them again, they would have a lame excuse like "Oh umm my fault, I had to help my mom with something" or something along those lines. Pretty much pure bullshit. They stopped putting forth effort to hang out, even when I contacted them first, so I stopped as well.

I'm not one to brag about what I have or anything like that. A lot of them have had relationship problems in the past and I guess they are jealous? I honestly don't know.

And as for the career advice, I really need to get my basic classes out of the way for now and then I'll ask for everybody's opinion afterwards

p.diddy

iTrader: (3)

thats just gross.

BoBByLiGhT83

iTrader: (1)

So if i was say 25 and she was 20 it wouldn't be a prob. but because she was 16 and I was 21 it's "gross"

p.diddy

iTrader: (3)

i couldnt agree more. borderline perv status. like i said just my

Gnate

iTrader: (10)

Yes, because the mental development varies so greatly between a 20 year old and a 16 year old. Also between a 25 year old and a 20 year old, but that's not as bad because at least she's not still a teen.

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

Yes....it will be acceptable if you were 25 and she was 20. Not if you were 21 and she was 16. A 16 year old is still a girl dude. Any which way you slice it....she is still a girl. A 20 year old may not be extremely mature, but she is adult enough.

And one scenario is also not legal in most states.

EuRTSX

I don't think Bobby gets it.

CLtotheTL32

iTrader: (3)

I think all relationships are a "trial and error" type thing. Not everybody is going to agree with your choices, but as long as you are happy, that's all that matters. And by choices I mean, age, looks, personality, etc.

I've learned to realize that in my relationship and since I first posted this thread.

RMATIC09

21 and 16?

While I'll never turn down an 18 y/o smash -

that's just CREEPY.

BoBByLiGhT83

iTrader: (1)

Anywhere did I say I ever slept with her?? Nope. We dated for 4 years. Never once did we have sex. It was a friendship that turned into a relationship. Even though it seems kind of weird that I was 21 and she was 16, It was the best relationship I ever was in. She was more mature than any other girl I had ever met regardless of her age. That's the point I was trying to get across to him.

FreedomEagle50

just like the very first guy said..

When you do get older age doesn't matter that much. I've seen my ex when she was 21 go after a 35-40 year old, I thought that was a little odd myself but nothing you can do.

Young age like 17-20 ish is when the numbers seem like they should be close like a year or so, but as long as you are happy that is what matter. You've known each other for a very long time so I'm shocked that your parents give you crap about it, it's not like you randomly met her or something recently

CLtotheTL32

iTrader: (3)

Thanks man. It's not so much my parents, it's other family members such as my aunt and uncle. My parents didn't really care because my parents have known her parents for a while just because we started bowling at the same place and in the same league. While us kids were bowling, the parents would sit behind and watch and talk amongst themselves. I think her parents wouldn't be too open to their daughter having an older boyfriend if they hadn't known me and my family for so long. But it's awesome having everybody getting along; we all get together about once a month and go get dinner or something.

p.diddy

iTrader: (3)

sex or not thats still creepy.

alexSU

iTrader: (3)

Bobbylight83, you are getting beat up in here lol people leave it alone damn. I'm sure everyone in here had some creepy moments in their lives. He gets the point already lol

adrian_04tl

take no offense. i read the tittle, saw the pic n thought she was older. lol

BoBByLiGhT83

iTrader: (1)

I can expect so much from people on the "in-tra-net".

RMATIC09

Yea- damn people on the internet thinking it's weird for a 21 year old to date a girl barely out of middle school!

silly internet

BoBByLiGhT83

iTrader: (1)

Correct me if I'm wrong, but this isn't my thread is it. I'm not the one asking for advice. Instead of everyone being a wise ass and trying to criticize something that I said or did, give YOUR opinion on CltotheTL32's dilemma. And last time a I checked a Junior in high school isn't barely out of middle school. K thanks

CLtotheTL32

iTrader: (3)

Get em Bobby

p.diddy

iTrader: (3)

yea i guess your right we all have had our chris hansen moments.

to the OP, your 20 shes 17 that situation is ok dont worry about your family. to the other guy it doesnt matter if she was a junior or not she was 15!

CLtotheTL32

iTrader: (3)

^Thanks, my girlfriend and I are extremely happy together right now and I hope it continues into the future.

And for the ones talking about Bobby's previous relationship, just let it go. I know everybody wants to throw in their two cents, but it's starting to get out of hand. I'm sure most guys here will admit to hooking up with a younger or more unattractive girl on more than one occasion. Life is about learning experiences; that situation was one of his

Gnate

iTrader: (10)

I think you already got some good feedback, so let the wars begin!!!


jk.

dallison

i wouldn't worry about it.